Precious Memories

2009-01-16T23:17:00.002+08:00

I HAVE MOVED!! This is my new blog: http://raspberryretard.livejournal.com/

Till then, cheers! =D

2008-11-12T21:07:00.002+08:00

Hey hey hey everybody! This blog is dead! Haha! Perhaps after reading yesterday's article, it's sometimes best not to put too much personal information online. Besides, I still prefer the pen and paper method, call me old-fashioned, but yea...especially since I have a feeling my life is going to experience great changes...too private to put online...maybe?

But I kinda like my link so I'm going to keep it...perhaps, maybe, someday I'll revamp this blog, but till then, CIAO EVERYONE! =)

2008-06-02T00:41:00.002+08:00

Currently, it's the June holidays and while other kids are comtemplating where to go play or just spend this precious "school's off" period, I'm at home, stuffing my brain with facts, facts and more facts. Economics, Biology, Chemistry and Maths in preparation for the common tests commencing on 23rd June.

So I was surfing the Net, when I decided to go watch "Under the Canopy of Love" starring Kevin Cheng and Nikki Chow. It's a good TVB series, much better than our local ones. And I'm a great fan of Kevin, not that fanatic to do anything outgrageous, but you know, the kind of "silent admirer". Ha ha!

OMG! He's like damn hot, despite the fact he's 38 this year and that when he smiles, you can see the wrinkles and crow feet on his face. But that's totally besides the point.

My mum's in love with Joe Ma, which I am too...I have a few hot guys that I admire, including..erm...I don't know. Maybe "jian yi ge ai yi ge" (see one love one) bah...

But the bad thing about watching shows especially something like Under the Canopy of Love is that it creates illusions and distracts you from studying. So for the past few nights, I've been sleeping at about 2am just watching episode after episode...and it's bad since it disrupts my "biological clock" (you know what I mean)...

But I'm suffering from "withdrawal symptoms"....lol...and I'm kind of disappointed that there are rumours that Kevin might be dating Nikki..since they have collaborated 3 times for filming..and as a couple too...but oh well...someday, I believe my future one will be much better than him...at least I hope so..=D

2008-03-02T19:08:00.002+08:00

Just a quick one before I go mug for my Chem test. =D

I was having lunch at AMK Hub since I have 90 minute break before my Chem lesson. So I took a quick stroll at Basement 2, hoping to get some "extra" bites to smuggle into class. As I was walking past an outlet, I heard someone call my name. I looked around first before focusing onto the person that was in front of me- it was her. For the past 1 year ever since we went separate ways, I to JC and she to another education institute, and I didn't think of meeting her again, until then. So I approached her at the food outlet and asked her why was she working at 12 plus, an odd hour as a student should be studying then. She told me she dropped the course she was taking and decided to work.

I was stunned. I didn't expect her, an 18-year-old to face the brutal working world with just an O level cert, since she's not intending to further her studies.
The conversation was brief, as I only had 25 minutes to get back to AJ for my Chem lesson. But the impact hit me hard, like a tight slap on the face. I've always felt like quitting school since it was so tough, especially with band and everything. But I think God has finally responded to my thoughts. I'm not trying to be mean or what, but from the Bio perspective, it's like being "selected against". I think that's what God is trying to tell me, not to give up. Sometimes, I do think it's better to know than not to know.

Another thing, I also felt extremely silly that I actually disliked her a lot when she acquired the position in my CCA that I have sought after. During my upper secondary days, she was like my "head" in band, and I'm just a member while she was holding the top position. I still remember it was the 5th of May 2005, when I tried not to cry until I got into Daddy's car as we were preparing to out for dinner. In there, I bawled like a big baby. Daddy and Mummy said all these positions aren't important, and studies are more crucial, since my O levels was the next year. But I still refused to heed their advice, the tears just flowed like nobody's business.

It made me silly, it made me foolish, like a big idiot, to think that I actually cared for such trivial matters. When I saw her, I couldn't believe my eyes, that the girl sitting at a doughnut outlet, was actually the girl who acquired the top position in my CCA. And I disliked her because of that.

Now, I guess God is trying to tell me to let bygones be bygones, and I will.

Please bless me, as I'm getting back my Chinese results soon...

2007-12-29T17:21:00.000+08:00

Christmas has always been the most anticipated festival for me...and as usual, it was extremely fun to be involved in the Christmas celebration at church, though I've only got 1 gig playing the piano =D. But this year, I guess it's when I've really thought it true and decided that there are some things that I really have to let go. And it's pointless just clinging on to them.

According to him, there were "too many things to commit", too many that needed his attention. Again and again, he never fulfilled any promises he made...always breaking them, and breaking my heart. Just when I thought I had found the perfect friend, I was left to be disappointed, and dejected.

Like I always say, everything should have ended the moment he left, the moment he was out of sight. But no, I was stupid, foolish enough to still think our friendship could go on...that it would persevere despite the fact we are miles away, and not seeing each other's faces for about 1 to 2 years. I'm forever in my "fantasy world", where nothing is imperfect and doesn't go according to my plan. I refuse to face reality. But it's OK, because I'm proud and sure I'm making the right move. For someone who thinks a "sorry" can solve all the problems that didn't accumulate overnight, I definitely have no qualms starting 2008 afresh, without him in my life. After all, I don't think I meant much to him either, since his girlfriend is still alive and kicking.

I guess it's time to move on and get a life.

By the way, after this year, I really don't have much faith in love, in fact, I'm starting NOT to believe in love anymore.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??

2007-12-04T18:03:00.001+08:00

Ok, so my life is not as exciting or "sweet" as some others out there in this world. I guess being confirmed as a Christian doesn't really bring about dramatic changes. And once again, I don't know why, but I am just so foolish to view my friends' blog...and my eyes stupidly chanced upon the pictures that they took with their "soul mates", even though I know jealously and envy will overwhelm me again.

Look, what's the point of scoring 91/100 for my Piano Diploma Exam? I thought I'd be satisfied, or happy. Unfortunately, I realize there's more than life to this. The worse thing is I care for such things when my major exams are coming up! I am seriously unsure about what the heck is bloody wrong with me.

While others get many tags everyday, my number is often stagnant, hardly increasing at all. This leaves me no reason to keep this webpage anymore...

Hmm...maybe I should give serious thought about closing it down...I guess there are some things that only works with the traditional methods. In this case, "pen and paper" would be a comfortable way to jot down my life. Maybe abstain from other people's blog too..then I can psycho myself that the life I live is far more interesting than anyone in this world, or even universe.

Meanwhile, I will continue to brainwash myself with Christian songs...hopefully Hillsong helps..=D

2007-12-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

After fervently wishing for about 3 months, I finally got what I wanted. YAY! I have a fever!

My body's temperature is 38.2 degrees currently.

And I just have fever, no flu or sore throat or anything.

Cool huh?

Besides, I've decided to PERM MY HAIR! Ok, not really perm until that curly..but make it wavy...I'm rather sick of straight hair...

So..I'll be going to the salon on Tuesday..I guess..

Hope it turns out well! I don't want any hair disasters!!

Lastly, I'm finally baptised (or rather confirmed) as a Christian!! It makes me proud to shout it out to the whole world!

The lesson my fever thought me? Always be careful of what you wish for...

2007-11-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

After 1 week of resting at home, I'm finally able to attend band practices. However, things were kind of unexpected. Why do I say so? The minute I return, I found out someone has been saying nasty things during my absence. That it's rather strange that a sprained ankle requires 1 week of MC. Like I always believe, you can't stop tongues from wagging...it's theirs anyway. I'm absolutely sure your intellectuality is high enough to at least guess where these words came from. The hint? It's from none of the students.

Anyway, what I can't stand is this person is a coward. Because he daren't say it in front of my face. Mind you, I don't just get mad over the "MC" issue..there's more than that but it's really pointless to list them down one by one. It all revolves around "the principles of life". Only a coward would take advantage of a person's absence to bad mouth him or her.

Besides, I'm not really concerned about the band's upcoming concert. The timing is untimely, the venue is a "God-knows-where" place...and the tickets, contary to my initial perception, is priced at $10. I thought admission was free, resembling the National Day Parade where it's free and you just need tickets.

I have to sell 15, and may I ask, who wants to go? Who's willing to pull out a red note out of their pockets?

I shan't drone on and on to gain your sympathy.

May God be my witness and punish your tongue as he deem fit...

2007-10-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

Muahaha! PW is finished (hopefully I'm not)!! I think the only reason why PW entices me is because of OP. I have learnt how to stand in front of an audience and to present formally, how to engage them and to have eye contact with them. And I truly must say 09/07 is the best class that I've ever had (followed by 6C and then 2/5). It makes me proud to be part of this wonderful class. We gave one another support during OP, by looking at the presenter whenever he/she is presenting. I did my part too! Yes, yes, I did say that I would sleep if I was very first presenter of the day, but deep down inside, I will never ever betray my own classmates. In short, whatever I said is just superficial...lol...

The examiners were from AJC, they were Ms Casey Goh and a Physics teacher. We had no so-called "chief-examiner" or "moderator", which I am unsure if it was a blessing or curse...but these two teachers were so nice, especially when I was presenting. The physics teacher kept nodding his head and looking at our powerpoint presentation like it was the most interesting thing in the world. The question they asked me was also something I was prepared for. In fact, for my group, we spotted 3 out of the 5 questions asked. Ha ha ha!!

After that, we went to Swensens to celebrate the end of PW.

I'm just so elated! Finally, no more meetings, no more staying up late nights, and no more racking of brains to answer stupid questions like why would this company want to work with us or why is our event situated at a particular timing.

YAY!!! =D

2007-10-29T20:44:00.000+08:00

Well...I'm back after a long long break. Many events have happened during this time, last week...after a long marathon of 4 years..I finally plucked up the courage and erm...told him. But I guess things did not go my way...realization then has dawned upon me. It was utterly foolish for me to harbour feelings for such a jerk. It would have been better if he had told me straight whether he likes me or not, instead of avoiding the damn question.

DAMN IT! I'M REALLY PISSED OFF! Wasted my time and tears!! I've never met such a person in my life!! You know what? You're such a disgrace to all the men in the world!!

Gazing at all my friends who are currently "attached", I feel so empty...I mean, no matter how bubbly or how "crazy" I try to be...deep down in my heart, I'm still a girl after all. I need security, love, care and concern. I simply cannot afford to give anymore of these...

However, I still have faith and trust in God for such things...and it is true that they cannot be compelled...so I'll just have to wait, patiently...

In conclusion, meeting YOU was really, truly the GREATEST MISTAKE I'VE EVER MADE IN MY WHOLE ENTRIE LIFE!!!

2007-06-08T21:51:00.001+08:00

Oh God...I'm at a loss..so confused..in a dilemma that I don't know what I should do next...I can't seem to comprehend why my life is so complicated...

God's creation is so funny...our emotions...we get angry with the person, but yet we cry for the same person as well...

I remember when Mrs Teo stood at the aisle taking attendance for our class, I was totally tongue-tied..not because I was ecstatic, but because I felt that I was the "sway-est" person in the whole wide world...what did I do in my past life to get such a strict and picky teacher that even wants me to greet her every single morning at assembly?

We even have to abide by the "Alice Teo constant", which is to reach the foyer by 7.25am. At first, everyone of us were strongly against the idea...we just seem to not accept the fact that others can stroll in between 7.25am to 7.28am.

I remember we and her..arguing and compromising one another in the classroom at Block 10...where all of us were lamenting that we had to go through this, find a solution before we can actually start lesson "officially".

But then...slowly, we began to accept her as who she is, to accomodate her "pickiness". We learnt that listening is much more important than using your mouth during lessons..so when she's talking, the atmosphere in class was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. But she appreciated our effort, in a way...because she always had stories to tell...funny or strange (the time when she told us she had a friend who had "yin-yang eye"), or even inspiring (to "date" only when studying in university).

Every session of Chinese with her was like a "laughing session", where we could relax by laughing. She disects Chinese texts very well...reading line by line...no wonder we're always so slow compared to other classes...lol...

When she announced she might resign before June holidays...all of us took it light-heartedly, thinking it was some joke or comment...we didn't even bother to probe furthur.

And just yesterday during our Chinese holiday lecture, she once again dropped a bomb onto all of us..she had tendered her resignation on 25th of May...and she'll be officially leaving the school next week. You can actually see most of the student's faces contorted with shock, with disbelieve...I was like..why? Then all those memories flooded back...causing the my tear duct to activate..releasing a waterfall of tears...maybe it's because I was receiving blow after blow that I hid all my emotions deep inside me...so when the final "blow" arrived, I was seriously unable to control myself and the tears just rolled...

So much so I had to leave the room so that Mrs A.T wouldn't see my whole face wet with tears...I just don't understand myself..just 3 months ago, I dread seeing her for 2 years...but yesterday, I realized how hard it would be NOT seeing her for 2 years...

What's worse, most of my classmates speculate Clement Ong would take over as PD Tutor...ince the CHINA teacher relieving Mrs A.T is a SECONDARY SCHOOL TEACHER WHO'LL BE SEEING US THROUGH OUR A LEVELS.

What else am I supposed to say other than a simple word- "help"?

PS: If I tell you I'm not going to miss Mrs A.T, her hilarious stories, her teachings and her famous "philantrophy act" of feeding us students with countless packets of M&Ms, then I'm not only telling one of the biggest lies in the universe, but I'm also be deceiving myself...

2007-06-06T22:26:00.001+08:00

Tried quietening myself down..but it was futile..I'm in a freakingly bad mood today...It's like..I certainly won't get mad or frown over one thing...it's a pile of matters..that caused me to be unhappy today...

The only good thing that happened today was that "HE" called my name 3 times during lecture in the morning..at least "HE" does remember me..that was the only comforting point...

And it's certainly not enough to alleviate my anger that I have for some people...some that I've been treating them as "best friends" and this is the shit I get...what's reciprocated upon me is one of the few reasons why I strongly believe that such terms like "best friends" no longer exist in this world..many good friends, or a few extremely damn good friends..but no one friend is my "best friend"..

Hello Miss? YOU'RE FREAKINGLY DOWNGRADED! You've made me extremely disappointed in you..YOU'VE FAILED TO REACH MY EXPECTATIONS! After all I've done for you...

DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE PRESENT AT YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR! DAMN IT!

2007-05-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

WHEETS!!! I finally watched the last of the trilogy of Pirates of the Carribean!!! Managed to catch a late night show at Lido Theatre...lol...IT WAS DAMN COOL!!

Ok, maybe not as funny and hilarious as the 2nd one..where we saw Jack Sparrow running around with a stick filled with fruits on his back...but nevertheless...it's still a good show overall...

But the ending was rather tragic and kind of unexpected...Will Turner died, yes, he was stabbed by that stupid Davy Jones..but his father dug his heart out and put it in the chest because the Flying Dutchman needs to have a new heir as captain...Davy Jones perished as a result of Jack Sparrow's doing...he plunged the knife right into his beating heart...eeww!!

And so...even though Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner were "married" under the witness of Captain Barbosa, but they were still separated!! Damn! Will took over the duty of ferrying the souls of those who died at sea to the "other world" and just like Jones, he can only step foot on land every 10 years...10 YEARS!! I think I'll die if I was Elizabeth...There was one line in the 2 hour 50 minutes movie that was quite touching and that was when Will said to Elizabeth,"My heart will always belong to you."...aww...so sweet of him...

I think both Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are as handsome as ever...especially when Orlando became the new captain...with his chest-bearing clothes...he was so ravishing..I just don't understand why men like to bear their chests...but I think it's kinda cool and erm...manly?

Ha ha..anyway can't blog any longer...dad's back from work...JOHNNY DEPP AND ORLANDO BLOOM ROCKS!! NEXT MOVIE: OCEAN'S THIRTEEN!!! YAY!!!

2007-05-24T17:26:00.000+08:00

Mua ha ha!! Chemistry SPA is over!!! Suddenly feel so relieved...like the a heavy boulder has just been lifted off my shoulders...

June holidays are coming..but I don't feel excited. In fact, I'm not really anticipating it...because I have too much homework to do, so little time...

Time really flies...it's like...unknowingly, I've been in AJC for nearly 5 months already...lol...and the pace that the lecturers and teachers are going is like that of an express train..no longer the secondary school kind where the teachers will slow down for you or wait for you...

Haiz..don't wanna blog furthur...must really take a good, refreshing break today...going off to game. Ciao!! =D

2007-05-21T19:10:00.000+08:00

Intially, I was rather disappointed that I, am once again position-less..but as I heard the so-called trainings that Mr Alvin's planning to give during the June holidays, coupled with my own preparation for numerous big events in my life like- Piano Dip. exam, being accompanist for my junior's flute exam, COMMON TESTS!!, focusing on PW and even wanting to dig some moments to spend with myself (be it "stoning" or catching a movie ALONE, YES! ALONE!), I find that I really have no more of "me" to put into the band. Mind you, I still love the band because it's integrated to become a part of who I am..but I'm simply one who will break down when facing all these stress..OH! ONE MORE THING! CHURCH COMMITTMENT! That's right..I've been "reprimanded" by someone just because I misplaced my priorties, well, a friend who left for another church some time ago...so Ive really got to rank all my committments...

Maybe it's probably God's will that I manage myself first..because if I can't even keep myself disciplined or on-task, how am I going to even bother about other people's stuff? The band will only fall at my incompetency, and this I have to admit it's truly true!

But still, I'm happy!! Because I've finally got to talk to someone whom I've been yearning to talk to...well...and I've found out something that instilled a sense of euphoria in me...but still, at least the person cares...lol...I'M JUST SO ECSTATIC!!

Perhaps I'll start the conversation first if we ever meet online again...since I wasn't the one who initiated it first...at least there's initiative in the person...ha ha!

2007-05-18T23:40:00.000+08:00

Lol...today was House Friday...so we all had to wear our house T-shirts..mine was Panther house..so...yup...stand together with other classes of the same house during assembly...

Mrs Teo told us to go IVLE and view the presentation on "Tribute to the Bees"..it was really as what she said- damn good!!

I did quite a lot of copying onto my textbook...hopefully it'll be productive learning...
Today was also the day they selected the J1s to be executive committee members and music committee members..as usual, i'm post-less...haiz...but it's good that way too, since I don't need to stress myself up with additional load..

But there's some things that I'm really unhappy about..I mean, what's the point of demonstrating open defiance?? It'll only put you in bad light...but let me clarify one point. There are, in this world, some posts that are actually meant for those who qualify for it, as in possessing the talent and knowledge and background and having what it takes to acquire the position. Not any Tom, Dick or Harry and be what they're not meant to be. So what puzzles me is that why such controversy exists? As in, one lacks have what it takes, one doesn't, in nature fact, meet the requirements for the posts, but yet, one just sits firmly in that position...

Mind you, I looking at the one's fall...I don't mind one being above me, I'll just shut up, but what pisses me off is that one don't even have experience from doing something, how can one do it properly?

Anyway, I'm watching, I'm looking, I'm scanning very intently...I'm awaiting one's fall...

2007-05-17T18:01:00.000+08:00

Erm...I'm at a loss for words...probably because I heard about that tragic news too...I mean, who wouldn't be sad...I know I wouldn't, because I would be DEVASTATED!!!

Sometimes it's just the wrong time of your life..after that terrible incident, I ask God why does he could be so cold and unfeeling...at this particular time, one has to go through such phase despite it being the most crucial and critical year of one's life. And yet one has to suffer the loss, the pain...it's just so...unhumanitarian...but then again, I recall Uncle Harry's funeral last year..his son was also going through a difficult time after his passing away...so I reckon if his son can do it, nothing is impossible...near impossible, but never impossible...

Yes, time is definitely needed to alleviate the pain that the freshly cut wounds have inflicted upon one...and it would be preposterous to say that the wound is totally healed...scars would remain, but I guess it wouldn't hurt as much as fresh wounds would...

At least we know the bereaved's beloved has gone to Heaven, under the caring hands of God...sauntering the golden paths of Heaven..perhaps even preparing a room to await for one's arrival some day, some time...

And at this very moment, even though the feeling is not physical, but it would be consoling and comforting to think of it the optimistic way...maybe one is now under the watchful eye of one's beloved and constantly being protected..it would be better to conquer life's challenges with such perception...

But as for me, I've learnt a valuable lesson in life...to treasure the ones beside me, my beloved ones...because life is so fragile..it's difficult to anticipate and gurantee that the person who is currently right in front of you right now will still be here the next day...that's the problem with humans, we often take things for granted, that they'll always be with us forever...could God be telling us that we, as Christians, should cease thinking this way?

Right now, even though I'm not very close to the bereaved, but the only thing I can do for the person as a friend is to pray for him, that he'll brace up to walk this path as a renewed and happy person...

2007-05-11T22:27:00.000+08:00

Lol...SYF is has finally ended with the last note of St. Anthony's Variations. I woke up at about 6am this morning and headed to school then changed to my white top with dark blue skirt and AJ tie. We practised from 6.45am to about 7.45am, then headed straight to the foyer to board the bus. I saw the heavy rain as some sort of ominous sign, but didn't dare say it to anyone for fear that I'd get slapped in the face.

I still vividly rememberd my SYF in 2000, when we were playing The Crossings and Triumph Over the Vikings. The "Candice" then, was so naive that upon hearing rumours, went straight off to tell her seniors that Kuo Chuan Presbyterian Primary School had obtained a Silver award. Ha ha! Little did I expect my senior to snap at me, screaming at me to shut up. I was angry at that time, because to me, a silver is already considered commendable. I didn't know they were aiming for a gold. But anyway, we really achieved a silver in the end. Hmm...wonder if Mr Ong was disappointed at that time.

From then on, I knew better to keep any bad comments to myself...we met with a heavy traffic jam on the way to SCH and reached there at 9.20am rather than 9am. And what's worse, the brasses haven't arrived and we were scheduled to go in the tuning room at 9.30am. We were reassured that the brasses would make it in time. True enough, we saw the group of light blue blazered people walking up the stairs towards us. I was suddenly washed with relief...mysteriously..

With only 10 minutes- no more, no less to-tune, all of us got straight down to business and every soon, that meagre time period was over and we went in to the stage to play the 2 pieces for the last one time that would determine our fate for the next 2 years.

Unknowingly, we ended our last triumphant note and confidently strode off the stage...very soon, the much awaited "xx"'s band performed, with me sitting in the 3rd row watching them...I sometimes wished I was part of them under the baton of "xx"...but looking at their costumes...I wouldn't want to wear the dress..and also...they paid $75 for it...I was like...lol...when they told me that..
I'm rather happy today..because I met all those that I want to see...people from various colleges and not forgetting my own conductor...
But I'm also rather sad because AJ could have achieved better and we're certainly more capable than the stupid title given...however, I also feel happy for "xx"'s college because they've achieved their first gold (correct me if I'm wrong)...and I think "xx" is damn good this year loh..all the bands under his baton all get Gold or Gold With Honours..

Seriously, I feel that I have divided loyalties..I like AJ...but I prefer another college's band just because "xx" is inside...and after hearing my friend saying that he's really nice and good...it just raises my regrets to a higher level...somebody please kill me...

2007-03-29T20:17:00.000+08:00

Currently can't elaborate much as I'm in the midst of doing my PW. So well, life now in AJ isn't all that "jubilant" and "innocent" and definitely not "smooth-sailing"!! Haiz..lectures, tutorials, PE, CCA and now even PW is crashing all at one go. The "sky" is falling to the point whereby I can no longer support it. Sometimes I wonder to myself, why not just let it drop? But that's not the solution, because I WANNA BE PROMOTED TO J2! BY HOOK OR BY CROOK!!
Band concert is coming up on 1st April, and I'm practically being reprimanded by my conductor every single day. Why can't he just use his brains to think? It's not I who desperately want to play a "different" instrument. It's like I'm being compelled to...but I think he just doesn't care. Practices ends at 9:30pm every day since last week till now...even though the noticeboard says 8:30pm...what is the definition of credibility, may I ask. How then, do we know if that stupid notice can be trusted? Or is it just there for some embellishing purpose and to make us happy?
In conclusion: ONCE AGAIN, I'M BACK TO MY SUCKY LIFE!!

2007-02-11T23:54:00.001+08:00

They say: 好事不传，坏事传千里。But I think it's the opposite for my church. Many people showed concern for me on Friday, my inbox was like flooded with numerous sms-es, asking me how have I done and so on. And when I told them, their replies were full of praises and awe, even though I know that those taking the Os this year would be doing as well, or even much more better than me.

In church today, many extended their handshakes to me, and the most common word I hear today is "Congratulations!". Indeed, I am really thankful for all the people around me in church, for they have constantly kept me in their prayers when I was suffering and enduring throughout that crucial time. Without them, there wouldn't be the 10 points that I see printed in my paper today. Uncle Sam, Aunty Bee Cheng, Aunty Yvonne, Pastor KH, Uncle Jimmy, Aunty Rosalind, Aunty Sy Bin, Aunty Jessica, Aunty Amanda, Uncle Yu Sim...and many whom I want to thank but did not do so here.

Most of them were in awe and it's like I'm in the limelight today. But when I told my class people I failed Physics, I can certainly say I wasn't spared from that "WHAT??!!" look. I kind of expected it. Because in my result slip, the whole row was like "A"s (nevermind if they're an A1 or A2) and then in the middle, a big D popped out. Even Gabriel was like-how can you fail physics? It's like Maths. So I told everyone there that I'm used to it, since everyone in school was like saying me also...my juniors said that when they knew I had 7 Distinctions, the only I one I failed to score was Physics. Anyway, I'm going to drop Physics in JC. After all, I'm not even allowed to take it since I didn't get a C6 or better. HA HA HA!!

Yay!! Tomorrow going to Vivo City with Mummy to buy an Ipod Nano. I know it's nothing to some people. But to me, it's very precious because it's a reward from both Daddy and Mummy, well, mostly Daddy, for my hard work and effort I've put in for the Os. I'm gonna buy the 4GB one...which is like $348. Daddy actually only gave me $200 but after Mummy talked to him, he relented and allowed me to buy the 4GB one. AH!! I WANT THE PINK COLOUR ONE!! AND I'M CERTAINLY GONNA TAKE GOOD CARE OF IT AND NOT LOSE IT!! IPOD, HERE I COME!! WOO-HOO!! =D

2007-02-10T23:37:00.000+08:00

Woo-Hoo!! It's finally a relief to know that I've officially graduated to AMK...very satisfied with my results...I think I'm rather retarded...it's like I'm blogging 3 days after the whole thing is over. But no choice, time is not on my side...still, I'd like to blog because it's really a joyous and unforgettable occasion.

Trudged to school on the 9th of Feb, which is Friday. That day was a very significant day for not only me, but also the thousands and thousands of students who took the 2006 O Level Examinations. Reported to the hall at 2:30pm after having my lunch with Sally...Rachel came later, but it was Sally and I who arranged the rendezvous.

So...Mr Tan showed us all the percentage and stuffs like that during the briefing before all of us "choing" to the front to take that precious piece of paper which would determine our fate. The very great news is that all of us 4 Express has passed English!! Yay! So happy for everybody. Our batch didn't do quite well for Chemistry...as I heard from many others that there were rumours about quite a number of the students failed that subject. I was so scared that my heart felt like it was gonna pop out of my mouth any minute. I cannot afford to fail Chemistry because I'm intending to pursue it and Bio to a furthur level.

Then they came to the ppt slide where I saw a number of names on the screen. I nudged Sher Feng because I saw a name there. As I skimmed down the row, it was when I saw the 3 words: "Choong Wen Qi". I was rather taken aback, yet curious. Blame it on my stupid eyesight. I could only make out the outline faintly, but I couldn't even see or find out why my name was up there. I shook Xue Li so hard that she was practically trembling, pestering her to read to me the heading. It was then my heart was really popping out of my mouth. I HAD SCORED 7 DISTINCTIONS!! Ok, maybe I'm not as good as those who scored 6 or single digits...but I really very very very contented. I turned around and gesticulated wildly to Mummy, and she replied in a thumbs-up sign, also confirming that it WAS really my name that was up there together with others.

So the 30-minute briefing might have been considered a torture or a test of endurance to some, but not for me after that. Because I know I would not have scored more than 12 points. Which was less than what I had already expected. I thought I would get like 15-16 points. Lol...

When it was finally my turn, Mrs Veda was all smiles when she presented the result slip to me. Now, for those who are curious to know, here goes:

English- A1

Combined Humanities- A1

Biology- A2

Chemistry- A2

E-Maths- A2

A-Maths- A2

Chinese- A2

I actually took another subject for O Levels, and that's Physics. Ha ha ha! I was told that I was the only one in my class to fail that subject. For your info, I scored a D7. Lol...really nothing to say. After all, everyone who knows me says that they expected it, even Ms Poon, my Physics teacher. I never thought that Eng and CH could get a 1 because I've been failing to 2 subjects for 2 whole years...I'm also very happy cos I broke Daddy's record. He scored 12 points for his Os. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh)!!!!

2007-01-31T20:34:00.000+08:00

Just a quick short post...to update myself and my life. I'm posted to 12/07, which is my class...we've known each other for about 2-3 weeks and we are quite bonded. In fact, we're planning to go NYP as a class together to lunch there this Friday before cross-country. And...after that, maybe steamboat at Marina Bay. It's been a long time since I felt that sense of belonging to a class.

Even my band mates at AJ are nice. We always walk out of school together after practice, or even have dinner in a group. They make me laugh, joke and talk...I just feel so fortunate to be part of them.

But sadly, as much as I fervently pray that the Lord would simply freeze time so that things could stay the way as they are...in paradise. Reality has to wake me up from this beautiful dream. Next week is a very damn bloody crucial week, I have to say, or CURSE because it's the release of O Level results...I seriously wish I could continue my stay in AJ, but I don't think I have much of the confidence, since I really screwed up my English paper...not forgetting my Humans, Maths, Science and even MTL.

So what am I supposed to say? Shit!! I not only hope to stay in AJ, but also for all my friends, class 12/07, OG Cabre and my band mates to be with me. Hopefully, it will really be a "Happily Ever After" ending.

Ok...think I crapped too much...gotta study for my Econs test. Die liao!! I don't even know anything at all...scarcity, opportunity cost, demand, supply, choice...AHH!!! HELP!!

And oh yes...the Bio project too!! And they say first 3 months is "honeymoon" period. CRAP I CALL IT!!!

2007-01-17T21:24:00.000+08:00

So...timetables for temporary lectures were out for the past week and I found myself heading to the Auditorium for them. Breaks as long as 2 hours were also rather common and I usually do my work or relax in the library. In short: I love "bonding" with AJ's library!! However, all these leisure will end tomorrow!! As I already have the new timetable out! Full of tutorials and lectures...uggh!! I should thank the heavens that I don't have PE tomorrow.

And oh, by the way, PE is horrible!! It's the first time PE has instilled such fear in me...we were made to run 4 rounds the school...haiz...and if the weather is fine next Monday and Tuesday, I'll be running my ass out in the school track. 2+6 rounds...like they call it. 2 for warm-ups and 6 for well...just because they wanna make you run. Take it as a good way to burn my stubborn fats...=D.

I'm in class 12/07. with Mr Duncan Ang as my FT cum Bio teacher, although I really hope that Mr Clement Ong would be teaching me Bio...he's like...so humourous and nice...ah....Larry Lee's my GP teacher!! OMG!! He's the guy who said:"I don't care how you feel unless you show me how you think." Although the J2s say he's not bad, I don't see how stuffing my face with difficult essays and passages is going to do any good in improving my English. After all, I'm rather hopeless in that subject...even though it's the most important language for "surviving" in this complicated and technology-driven socety...ah whatever!!

My bandmates are nice...and I certainly believe that I'll be part of a big family...my section mates are friendly and easy to get along too, not like "some people" (you know what I mean)...so far, they don't put on airs even though they're good...and they certainly don't yell at you when they feel like it...Haiz...it's a pity I have a proficiency test next week. Ah!! Mr Alvin's gonna slit my throat!! But seriously, I think so far, he's the only one who really has the authority and all the rights to like..comment on my playing. Because my past conductors don't specialise in flute playing like him...so...arrgh! I'll need all the luck I can get...

At most when he starts glaring at me or his face is flushing red with anger, I can shout out what Dick always says:" WORLD PEACE!!" =p

2007-01-06T12:08:00.000+08:00

1st week of school has been rather fun...as there was Orientation programme. Subject talks, getting to know new friends, playing games, learning cheers...oh...they're just so nice and relaxing. Unlike the Sec 3 Adventure camp or even Sec 1 Orientation camp. The best part is they don't make you stay overnight. I found out many of my peers and friends are also in AJ. One of which even shares the same piano teacher as me. Ha ha ha!! And I thought I would be lonely in this JC.

This programme, for me, is very enriching. I get to make new friends, one of them even said they'd miss me if I leave early to go for band. Whether it's true or not, I must say I felt rather comforted because our group really bonded very fast. And the guys are not as childish as the ones I know in AMK, especially ONE PARTICULAR GUY...uggh! (Shall not elaborate furthur...)

On Thursday, we learnt to dance to the song Mambo No. 5 and this dance required a partner...eg: boy and girl...so I got to dance with my primary school friend, one which I didn't see for 4 years already. I had quite alot of fun...trying to remember the steps and wel...co-ordinating my legs and hands. That was the best dance of all. The others were too difficult that I was compelled to give up halfway.

Campfire, of course was the event that I had been looking forward to yesterday. Unfortunately, I was being informed that due to the preparation for the CCA open house next Wed, I need to be present for band practice and leave the programme early. Nevertheless I still managed to catch a glimpse of the campfire...I should say it was amazing. At that moment, all of them were viewing the photos that had been taken during the whole programme. There were also performances but I think I missed the bulk of them due to the practice. We even ended later than the campfire activity, which was about 8:45pm.

Upon reaching home, I suffered aches from my whole body, especially both my legs and arms. Not to mention my stomach also...which baffles me, since I only used my legs and arms to run...And they're not any better today. So I think coupled with the flu and sore throat I'm having for shouting too much for the past 3 days, I'm skipping practice today. Lol...

But overall, I'm really happy in this JC. I so hope that my results are good enough to not only enabled me to stay in my fave JC, but to also take my fave subject.

2007-01-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

OH YEAH! IT'S 2007!! WOO HOO! I guess it's gonna be a tough year for me because I'm entering another new phase of my life...JC lifestyle and such...so before I embark on a new journey and embrace 2007, I would like to set a few resolutions for myself. Old-fashion huh...but nevertheless, here goes.

I shall:
1-Work hard in AJC and pass my promos.
2-Be studious and excel in my A Levels.
3-Tolerate for another 2 more years before I work and go "sl***ing".
4-Try my very very extremely best to erase "*****" from my mind and heart.
5-Practise my piano regularly and pass my Diploma exam this year (yeah!!)
6-Juggle studies, piano and band and bring it to a good balance.
7-Refrain from watching too much TV.
8-Refrain from going out too often.
9-Spend money wisely before I go bankrupt sooner or later.
10-Be more affable with my classmates. Embrace the new and treasure the old.

So I guess that's about it...I think 10 is sufficient for new-year-resolutions. Afraid that I won't be able to fulfill much if there's too many aims for one year. Shall start small first...lol...

2006-12-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

Sunday...the eve of Christmas...went to church today AGAIN for singing of Christmas songs. This is despite the fact that I reached home at midnight last night. Anyway, there were no Sunday schools today so Mummy and I went to OG to shop for gifts. I secretly bought her a cup, since she's been complaning that there's a crack in her old one. Here it is:

Isn't it beautiful? Ok, maybe to you it's not very appealing. But to me, it's the best Christmas gift to Mummy. She says she really likes it alot. This cup just reminds me of how many pink items I possess. So just for fun, I decided to gather all the "pinkies" together to have a group shot. Here they are:

A total of 12 items I should say. From far left: Adidas bag, then my 37 Degrees school bag, followed by my MP3 pouch, then my Nokia phone, phone pouch, wallet, passport, pencil box, staple, file, my Christmas carolling scarf, and last but not least, the beautiful handphone rest which was a Christmas gift from Uncle Terence and Aunty Cassandra. It's considered one of the best gifts I've received this year. It's soft and cuddly and oh-so-pink. Lol...=P

I got home from church today and received a letter from AJC...

AH!!! Report to school next year at 7am in the morning? This is even earlier compared to AMKSS, which is 25 minutes later. This means I have to wake up even before the crack of dawn...and there's orientation programme as well. Hmm...hopefully and "wish-fully" my "O"s don't fail me...I'm now entering a new phase of life...I'll need all the luck I can get...lol...

2006-12-23T23:47:00.001+08:00

In celebration with Christmas, my church held a service today. However, this is no ordinary service. We call it the "Candlelight Service". People who attended the service each had a candle to hold. It's like, so cool to see so many glowing flames after the lights in the room were switched off. Well then, for once, I shall stop crapping and let the pictures to the talking. By the way, it was more than just holding candle sticks in the dark. There also performances by the various age groups in the church. Ok then, here goes:

A play put up by the Children's group. See my bro? He's the one standing at the far left...lol...

After the play, all the kids gathered together to sing a song for us...something about God being the Prince of Peace and His everlasting love for us... The Toddlers' group were not bad either, dancing and entertaining the crowd with their cute actions.
A skit by the A-Bah group. And oh, by the way, A-Bah in some language means young boys...even though these guys aren't that "young" anymore...=D

Then it's the most exciting part I've been anticipating. THE LIGHTING OF CANDLES!! YAY!! A few people stood at the edge of the seats and then lighted the ones who stood at the side. From there, the lighted candle was used to light up the candle of the person beside him or her. And so, this continued while we all sang the song "Pass it On". Every soon, a beautiful glow that emanated from all the little candles. A picture tells a thousand words, so, see it for yourself:

See how erm...romantic it is...ah...

By the way, I only got to hold my own candle later. Because while all of them were doing this, I was playing the flute. Yes!! The flute!! Playing solo of "Silent Night". I was like...in heaven. It's only in church that people DO NOT and I mean it, DO NOT criticize your playing. No doubt I do not acquire pure flute sound, but it's the thought that counts. I sincerely believe that if I give my heart and soul to God, it is enough already. Hopefully I can do this again for next year's Christmas. Just the praises from all my friends after the service were enough to make me blush. Thanks guys! Really appreciated it!! =D

2006-12-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

Went for Christmas caroling today...it was so exhilarating. Same like last year, our performance is just outside Tong Building at Orchard Road. Today's presentation was better, BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE TO SING IN THE RAIN!!

But actually, singing in the midst of rain pouring is rather fun. Yesterday, I thought that our singing was cancelled because of the heavy downpour, but Aunty Pauline insisted that we continue with it. And so, we broke up in pairs. One holds the umbrella while the other holds the song booklet and we share. Lol...mine partner's umbrella was leaking, besides, it was so small. In the end, my right arm was totally drenched. What's worse, while I was singing, water droplets kept dripping onto my hair...making me wish that the whole thing end as soon as possible. But all in all, I think that my church and I have triumphed over Satan. Because we still managed to spread the gospel to the people and glorify God despite the weather obstacle.

Unlike yesterday, the weather was fine today. So each of us had our own booklet to ourselves. Many of my church supporters came to encourage and motivate us. But the one that I was fervently hoping for didn't appear. Nevertheless, I still went up on stage to give my best in all the songs that I sing.

I really hope to sing solo in next year's Christmas caroling...it just sort of, makes me jealous to see the soloists standing in front while I'm being "engulfed" at the back. I don't care!! I must sing solo next year!! No solo, no Candice.

PS: Ok, maybe I'm being a little threatening, a little erm, fierce. But I'm really desperate to sing solo...ah!!! Happy Christmas everyone. And to those who asked for updates, here it is!! =D

2006-12-06T13:12:00.000+08:00

Just returned from my church camp and whoo, I must say it is a refreshing experience. I've not only got to know new people, but also bond together with the people I see every Sunday.

First day- Sunday (3/12)

We arrived in church for normal Sunday worship and Holy Communion, since it's the first Sunday of the week. There was also infant Baptism for 3 little kids, one of them who kept crying during the whole process, so cute! Ok, maybe I'm a bit sadist...ha ha! After a light breakfast, we boarded the bus to Tanah Merah ferry terminal which would bring us to Batam, our desired destination. I so regretted sitting in that bus because the kids behind me kept screaming their heads off, singing songs that were, well, rather irritating to me, but not to them. If I had to choose again, I would switch bus! That's how horrible it is.

The ferry ride wasn't any comforting either. It kept rocking up and down so much that I could have threw up whatever I consumed for breakfast. See lah, thought I was so gungho, can withstand a one hour ride, in the end leh, it was really very terrible. Just thinking about the return trip is enough to send shivers down my spine.

Finally arrived at Batam View Resort. It was rather inviting, just that there were construction going on. We had lunch in buffet style and then waited 90 boring minutes for our room key. My room mates were Lynn and Abigail. The room rox as well! Just that there were only 2 beds. So Lynn decided to move to Melissa's room, with was ok with me, since I prefer staying in pairs. After a short break, we had briefing and then ice breaker games. Kudos to Caleb and Gabriel, because their games were rather fun. Aunty Bee Cheng had a head injury during that time, it was ghastly to see her head bleeding profusely. So she headed back to her room to rest while we continued playing.

Dinner was at Kelong, a restaurant by the sea side...nice to hear the sound of the water roaring. Our table was "special" though, cos we had an extra dish, Black Pepper Crab due to "special" requests. We were all enjoying them while the other members hovered at our table, drooling...=D

Then it was time to get serious, we talks by Rev Ngoi and then our workshop session which we needed to share. It was then I got to know the members in my group better, like Wayne, Mervyn, Caleb, Sock Ling. It was quite a strange feeling. I see them in church every Sunday, but I never got to talk and communicate with them as much as during that session. It certainly brought us closer.

Feeling tired after the day's programme, I headed back to my room- 437 to wash up and retired for the night. Oh, and by the way, I'm staying beside Gabriel's room and opposite Jason's room. Both their rooms have Channel U, 8 and 5 but my room only has Channel 8. It's damn sucky, considering the statellite dish is situated far away from my room.

Second Day- Monday (4/12)

Woke up at 7am- Batam time and then my room mate, Abigail and I headed to the lobby for breakfast. I think breakfast there is the best compared to lunch and dinner. And it totally sux considering that there is no convenience store anyway near that I could buy cup noodles for supper at night. Grr...anyway, they have scrambled eggs, hard boiled eggs and even fried eggs...hmm..all my faves. Then there's porridge that you could add your own toppings for flavouring. like peanuts, salted eggs and even salted veggie. After talk and workshop at Wayne's room, we had games at the Beach. Which my group, sort of, cheated. Because we built sandcastles with additional equipment which weren't allowed. Ha ha, it was funny that even the Pastor's wife didn't stop us from doing so. Despite all these, we still ended up last. So I reckon it's God's will that we can't win since we cheated. Lol...Lunch was horrible, since ALL of the dishes contained curry or chilli in them. Under Mum's permission, I called IN-ROOM DINING!! Isn't that cool? I order Fried Kway Teow and a glass of lemon tea. But it's costly though, this 2, including service charge and GST, sum up to a total of $15. But it's worth it...for Free and Easy, I can't go swimming since I didn't bring my costume with me, neither can I go for spa. And there was a long queue for foot massage. So?? I ended up in Jason's room watching Channel 5 and U. The Tyra Banks Show was entertaining, teaching ladies about style and fashion, then Channel U was a Korean drama.

Dinner at the poolside was romantic, and the food was rather palatable. But I didn't eat much...since I wasn't hungry after a filling meal of Kway Teow. I retreated early back to my room and prepared for Workshop 3, where all of us shared views about the questions that were laid in front of us. The questions were more challenging than the very first Workshop we had. Like they asked you: Share your belief in how the life order and the planet earth originated, What do you believe in the purpose of our human existence?, Does God love humankind much more than all other creations? and so on. I think its much more difficult and thought-provoking. I'd rather do a Biology essay, since we already have information in our heads.

After that, I stayed in Mervyn's room to watch the Channel U HK drama, just in case Daddy forgot to record. And I think I"m right, because when I returned home yesterday, I didn't see any tape.

Went to Sy Bin's room with Abigail to chat with them for about an hour before returning to our own rooms.

Then once again, it was lights out and packing up to check out the next day.

Third day- Tuesday (5/12)

Once again, breakfast was at the lobby and I was stuffing myself with food since I didn't eat much during dinner and Abigail had cup noodles for supper and it was curry, so I couldn't share with her. Had to bear with the empty feeling till morning. We had the last Talk about knowing ourselves...and then there was Sharing and Testimonies where everyone gathered in a circle to share what they've learnt from this camp. For me, I think Rev Ngoi's talk was rather unique. Because all the other talks and sermons I've experienced so far was about Knowing God, how to glorify and praise Him, and such. But this time round, the objective was actually about knowing ourselves, knowing myself more. And also, this time round, the camp was more relaxing, where we don't have to prepare for any performances. Only that THERE'S NO CONVENIENCE STORE!!!

Returned to my room to pack up and prepare for check out when the phone rang. First time round, it was from the "Receptionist", informing me that my check out time is in an hour. Then second time, it was again the "Receptionist", telling me that my check out time is with immediate effect. I put "Receptionist" because I later found out that it was from Gabriel and Mervyn, playing a prank call on me...haiz....it's like I was being Punk'd.

We had lunch and shopping at a "Mega Mall". I think Singapore's malls could do better than theirs. It's like, the first two storeys of the mall is OK, but then as we go up, I find that the shops there are rather, bad? And also, the mall is rather deserted...the only people I can see is our church people.

We had A&W, and many of our members were also there. Since Singapore doesn't have anymore A&W, it would be nice to actually eat there. THEIR CURLY FRIES ROX!! I went to Polo to buy 2 shirts, a pink turtleneck and a strip shirt, erm...also pink? Ha ha...wanted to buy earrings but the shop lady insisted on receiving Rupiah...not Singapore dollars. And since I was lazy to change, I decided not to buy. Will go Minitoons to buy my dice earrings.

In the evening, we gather at Batam Centre Ferry Terminal to return back to Singapore. This time round, I wasn't feeling that giddy since I took motion-sickness pills given by Aunty Yvonne. But what irritates me is that I have a fat man sitting beside me. And it's like, his snorings rendered me unable to sleep. Luckily, we were almost reaching Harbour Front so it wasn't so bad. I was dead beat by the time I returned home, since there were quite a number of stations from Harbour Front.

And oh, did I mention this girl named Yuen Ting? Basically, on my very first day at Batam, my name tag accidentally got caught in her bag. When I told her to stop, you know what she did? She took my card out of her bag and flinged it at me without even turning around. Aunty Yvonne told me to get to know this girl better, since she was at the same age as me. But I think I decided to avoid her since she did such a thing to me. I told no one, except my mum, because others would think that I'm sensitive. But the horrible thing was that she kept sticking around me like a leech...and she even asked me if I'm shy. I was like, why don't you go ask yourself what you've done? At a particular talk, she herself sat beside me. And she calls herself a Christian, doodling and tearing pices of paper from the camp booklet when everyone was singing songs to praise God. It's ok if she does that, what's worse is that she dumps pieces of paper onto my sit, not bothering to even throw them in the dustbin. I mean, so what if you've just returned from Australia to Singapore for holiday, it doesn't give you the right to do whatever you like and criticizing my church camp, calling it boring and asking "What the hell is this chuch camp?", it doesn't render you any privilege to be rude to adults. You're not even fit to be a Christian,haughty one! If you think it's boring, go join other church camps. I'm sure my church does not welcome haughty people who are so egosiastic that they do not care about other people. Neither do I. I'm so glad you're returning to your country soon, you would so be a liability to the society of Singapore. Lastly, stop acting like you're very close and warm to me, because you know what? I think everything you do is so damn freaking fake!!

2006-11-25T22:03:00.000+08:00

Wactched the last and final episode of Charmed yesterday. OMG! The show rox to the core! So many people returned to film it, including my fave guy Drew Fuller. He's so...gorgeous. 4 Generations of Halliwell gathered together to defeat Billie and Christy. Penny, Petty, Victor, Piper, Phoebe, Paige, Wyatt, Leo, Chris...oh...the feeling of seeing so many Halliwell members is so overwhelming. But I think the plot is rather lame...like Billie killed her own sister. It feels like the idea of travelling back in time is rather redundant. Nevertheless, the ending closes with a heart-warming scene, where Piper and Leo grew old and have grandchildren. I've recorded the the show and hope to watch it over and over again. Channel 5 should seriously consider to broadcast all the 8 seasons again. Starting from the very beginning, the formation of the Power of Three. I so want to see how Prue died.

AJ Band had a tune-in session today...I think it's quite fun. I feel I'm starting to bond with the people there, especially my section members. My seniors there are caring, like Sue Lynn and Hui Min. They don't make me feel like I'm some kind of outcast member...so...yup. Hope that my results are good enough for me to continue staying in that JC.

But before I ask God for that, I think I need to do some serious reflection about my actions. I felt so guilty about it that if there was a confession session, I don't think I would reject it. Must go ask for forgiveness...I seriously promise not to do it again next week. Lol...=X

2006-11-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

This is the first time I've been out of the house for more than 12 hours straight. I know more or less how band practices are like...especially since I've had them in AMK before. I was already out of the house at about 8 plus, had to report to school for this O Level briefing, only to find out it was a waste of my time since I wasn't eligible for the PAE exercise as I'm already under another scheme- DSA. So I had no PIN number what-so-ever printed on the sheet of paper...but hey! I'm still blithe. Because this is the first time I'm awarded a Silver for my CIAA award. Cool huh...I've been seeing "browns" for the past 2 years...so, yup, it's rather an improvement.

And it's confirmed! I've scored A1 for my CCA. This is despite the fact that I'm not a leader or anything...for me, an A1 is an A1. Whether it's a borderline score or way beyond that. So I've earned 2 bonus points...hopefully I score below 20.

After that, I headed straight to AJ for band practice. From 11pm-1pm, I had "sectionals" with a J2 senior, Sue Lynn. I said "sectionals" because we spent most of the time talking and chatting rather than really blowing our instruments. I think she's rather fun...and lame =D, ha ha!

Then it was lunch and we went to AMK Central's MOS Burger. Resumed practice at about 3 plus...and it was all the way to 7 plus. I was half dead by the time I reached home...just in time to catch 5 minutes of the ending of Goong. Luckily I taped the whole show. But I think if I carry on like this, I'm not sure if my body can really endure the gruelling schedule. Considering I still have to make my presence in church choir practices, Sunday Service committments as well as piano lessons a week.

However, I think such a hectic schedule can also be looked upon as a blessing in disguise. If I work myself until I'm half dead, then I wouldn't find the time and energy to contemplate on other things...to think about things that inflict pain on my heart, thoughts that bring tears to my eyes the moment I reflect on them.

I'm looking forward to year end...December will come...and a new year will begin. I would want to start this year afresh...but yet, I'm afraid of leaving my friends...people that I know, that shared so much together with me. Feli, Elaine, Rach, Sal, Le Ying, my flute section juniors, my 2/5 and 4/5 classmates. I just loathe knowing new people, to start with the same stupid questions like "Where are you from?", "Hi, I'm Candice!", all these introductions. On the controversy, I know that if the old don't go, the new don't come.

So I've come out with a resolution: WHY CAN'T I KEEP THE OLD AND EMBRACE THE NEW? I WANNA HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT! AND I WILL!!

2006-11-20T11:06:00.000+08:00

Totally fell in love with song...Christina has such strong vocals...able to really portray out the emotions...this, is the quality of a true singer...=P

Hurt
By Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were
But I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything
I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't to do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day,
I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything
I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself
By hurting you

2006-11-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Is it better to have a few good friends who could understand you inside-out, upside-down? Or to have plenty of people revolving around you, making you popular but are not around when you actually need their help?

It sux, it totally sux. I can't believe this is happening to me. We were so close together during chalet, where both of us first met. It's like, we clicked rather well. This is also the first time I was able to socialise or talk so comfortably with a guy. After that, we shared countless smses, phone calls and even talks when we met during our Sunday school time. Then he too left, in 2004. That year was the most ugly year of my life. Many people left the church. They were either migrating to other countries or transferred to other churches with no rhyme or reason. Maybe there was a motive behind it but I just couldn't comprehend. So we went our separate ways...occasionally catching up on MSN.

Sometimes I wonder if the invention of MSN was beneficial or otherwise. Because more and more people are prone to chatting with the "computer" instead of actually using the phone to communicate. To me, I'd rather Singapore lack this software. If anything, just call. At least I can hear the person's voice. We chat more online than using the telephone. Messages were also reduced, from a few a week to practically none right now. In fact, when I was so deeply hurt one time, he wasn't there when I needed him.

I couldn't accept his justification of leaving his phone at home. How was I to know that he was inaccessible that day? I was so upset I didn't know what to do. It was my fault, for letting his name flit through my mind. I've learnt my lesson. Next time, I will never call him no matter how troubled I am.

Friends of the same gender are more realiable as your pillars of support as well as shelter and refuge. There are some exceptions, of course, from the other gender. But for me, I'm still on the prowl for such friends...

2006-11-18T00:03:00.000+08:00

Ok, IT'S FINALLY THE END OF O LEVELS!! To me, the 2006 Sec 4 batch has already graduated...and most importantly, I'm still in one perfect piece even after the terrible week.

5th day (Tuesday)

So it's A-Maths paper 1. I must say it's rather ok, considering I managed to score full marks for the last question, and many other questions as well. In fact, I was contemplating that paper 2 would be harder because this paper is much better than the usual TYS standard. Headed home to prepare for Chemistry and History my impending Physics paper. Daddy said he wanted to go through with me but I refused. I mean, what for? It's not even in my R5. Might as well save the ones that got more hope.

6th day (Wednesday)

The Physics paper sux. I don't even know how to do most of them. Especially paper 2. I didn't even do the Either Or question. So, all in all, about 20 marks for paper 2 just flew out of my grasp. I'd be happy if I can even score a C6 for it. People keep telling me that it was easy, since the last part was logic gates. But I think it's so difficult. I was like- what the hell is "thermal equilibrium"? So, there you are...Physics just sux the world out of me.

7th day (Thursday)
I knew it! A-Maths paper 2 WAS more challenging compared to the first paper. RV definitely came out. So it was a loss of 5 marks immediately for me. The first question already stunned me. They gave this: If f(x)= x + 2 and g(x)= x³, find the composite function of x³+ 2. If I'm not wrong, I did come across such a question at TYS. I didn't do it straight away though, because I just couldn't recall how to do it. So I headed to do other questions and then returned to question 1. True enough, I did manage to find a bit of inspiration so I managed to save 3 marks. Actually, it's 8 marks. Initially, I didn't know how to solve question 7, the tangent to the curve thingy. But the minute the supervisor said "Stop!", it hit me on the head and within 3 minutes, I wrote down my answer, writing like crazy despite his numerous shouts to me. But I couldn't care less, if his shoutings could earn me another 5 marks, why not?

Then it was Chemistry Paper 1. Again, the first question left me shocked. I was wondering- why do examiners like to stunned people with the first question? It gradually got better at the later part. Hopefully, I can score because Chem is part of my R5. Apparently, my hopes were extinguished when it came to paper 2. Oh my goodness! Only miracles can save me now.

While everyone was shouting for joy and screaming their heads off, I still had another paper to go for the next day.

And it was at this time Rachel dropped the bomb on me. Its effect was even worse than any nuclear or atomic bomb one can ever imagine. It totally tore my whole heart asunder. I've never felt so heartbroken before. I was in no mood to memorise anymore History facts. For the whole night, Rach's words rang through my mind. The "best" part is, I couldn't do anything about it even if I knew. I was useless...all I could do was to lie there and cry, hoping something would happen. Obviously nothing is going to change this fact! =(

Last day (Friday)
Yipee!! It's finally the last day!! BUT...the History paper sux totally! Inference didn't come out, ok, so it did. But it was about the purpose of the source. DAMN! And United Nations popped out! Ahh!!! It didn't come out for the past 4 years. Why?? That stupid chapter has so little information, there's practically nothing to write about. So I was left with no choice but to crap my way through to answet the other question, on Chapter 3. Luckily I studied that. Wanted to do Cold War one, but then...don't know what the hell question (b) was talking about...sometimes I just wish they would write in simple English so that a dumbo like me could comprehend it.

So I found myself sitting on the MRT on the way to Sembawang 30 minutes later, peering out of the window and staring at the scenery in awe like some kind of "swa ku" (country bumpkin). It's like I've never sat the MRT for ages, since...October? It's only the bus that I take to and from school. Borrowed some lovely Charmed books for reading leisure too...

SHIT! I CAN'T BELIEVE MY HOLIDAY'S TOTALLY RUINED! AJ just called to say they're starting practices next Tuesday...from 9 to 7!!! AH!! I'm sad just thinking about this. I certainly did not strive to complete my Os to suffer during the holidays...damn it!! Hopefully God will provide me with a leeway and some breathing spaces in such a hectic schedule.

2006-11-17T08:56:00.000+08:00

Today is the last paper of O Levels, History. But I'm totally in no mood to study. I wanna vent all my anger in this post. So please bear with me...

YOU'RE SUCH AN INSUFFERABLE BEAST! Loathesome, abhorrent, abominable, vile, repugnant, disgusting, vicious...the sum of all this words are still unable to describe you. WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME??? 3 years...I've held my passion for you for 3 years...even after you've left. It's ok if you remain single, because I can continue living in my fantasy world with the mindset that you belong to me, only to me. Now? You belong to someone else, your eyes only shimmer for her, everything you do, you do it for her, only she can give you true happiness. My passion for you is not reciprocated at all!

My friends keep persuading me to confess. But I know I can't. You wanna know why? Because if I follow my heart and do it impulsively, lots of people will be involved. My family, not to mention yours, even all the people around me will be implicated. Most importantly, if I face rejection, I will not be able to take it!

Despite the fact we live miles away, I continue to pray to the Lord every night for your safety. When you were in NS, I prayed to Him that the commanders weren't too harsh to you as I heard of the horror stories from my schoolmates. I asked the Lord to protect you from all the "ghosts and pontianaks" that might be lurking around in the night.

Just the sight of the signal popping out from the right hand bottom corner of screen, indicating you came online, made my heart flutter. But I could only gaze forlornly at the chatbox, the always-empty chatbox. Because I know you will never greet me first. I could never summon the courage to type a "Hi" inside.

I don't know why I could fall for you so much, I don't know much about you, but it was just so mysterious. I'm always invisible in your eyes, and am fading away ever since you left. Now, I think I have totally disappeared from your world- out of sight, out of mind. I cried and cried upon receiving this devastating news that you've found your "one".

I've decided to let go, for real this time. You were the only one who could instill a sense of euphoria in me. But I've finally understood...it actually ended long ago when you left. But I still clung on...reluctant to release you. It was my foolishness who led me to my downfall. It's OK, I can finally accept what you've done to me and to let go. Maybe some time later, we might meet again, and all my hatred for you have dissipated...but till then, let me learn how to continue living bravely...

2006-11-10T21:51:00.000+08:00

Alas...the ardous journey of one week has come to a past. And...I have one more week to go. I shall now take a break for today to actually do some serious reflection on my performance.

1st day (Monday)

E-Maths paper was ok...but I don't think I have much confidence in it. What's worst is that I FAILED TO COMPLETE QUESTION 1d OF THE SS PAPER!!! WHY???? I STILL HAVEN'T MASTERED THE SKILL OF TIME MANAGEMENT!!! And Mrs Ismail still gave me a pat on the back, telling me she has confidence in me that I'll score A. NOW?? CRAP!!! But I was stunned merger came out. Luckily I flunked my Prelims. In fact, even though I used to loathe Mrs Ismail and bore a grudge towards her for causing my failure, I'm actually thankful to her now. Because I went through with her the question and even memorised how she concluded and priortise. So...I actually "pasted" everything into the paper about independence being the most important reason, that Singapore must first be recognized as a sovereign state...blah blah blah...The second question was just asking whether it's a blessing or disaster. Another TYS question that I copied. So there you are, I could say I'm more confident in essay than source-based. Now it all depends on moi's history. Go girl!!

2nd day (Wednesday)

The paper that instills the most fear in me. That's because it's more than just inveting a stupid story. But IT'S THE STYLE AND LANGUAGE AND USE OF VOCAB THAT EXAMINERS LOOK FOR!! And I'm bad at that...I'm not able to construct variable sentence, use fanciful and verbose words to impress the "Ang Mohs". Shit! The minute I opened the paper, I was flabbergasted at the word "Dreams". It never occured to me in my freaking life that there is actually some things to write about. So? I can prepare to flunk this paper...BUT NO!! I DON'T WANNA FAIL ENGLISH! AH!!!

Then it was comprehension. The passage was much easier to comprehend compared to Prelims...(Star Wars? Uggh!). It was about pollution...so yup...I'm afraid of summary because I screwed it up. GOD! DON'T LET ME FAIL ENGLISH!! I WANNA GO ANDERSON!!

3rd day (Thursday)

We had Biology that day, both Papers 1 and 2. Multiple choice was tricky...like...they asked you to choose the two parts that cover the pupil of the human eye. If it's just human eye, I would have immediately chose conjunctiva and sclera. But no! They said "PUPIL". Ah...that's way I need to think for a moment. I was confused, bewildered, in a quandary. But I still put the choice of conjunctiva and cornea. After checking with my friends, I guess most of the questions are correct...I could probably score 35/40? Hopefully...

Paper 2 was more demanding. They asked about cataract. I was like...cataract? Hmm...studied about it in Sec 2 Geog, but forgot about it. Luckily they elaborated that it causes lens to blur. So crap here and there, can at least produce a length required for a 4 mark question...lol...Essay was more straight forward...they don't go about the bush, so I sort of "vomitted" everything I painstakingly memorised...it felt so good...like a huge boulder off my shoulders. Wishing fervently that the examiners will mark leniently. I must score an A for Bio...it's part of my R5!!

4th day (Friday)

Whew...a sign of relief overwhelmed me...I'm halfway through this battle!!! E-Maths paper was OK, like all the TYS standard...except one question. It's trigonometry, but in the form of a 3D diagram. DAMN IT! And I was praying last night not to come out with 3D figues. I'm bad at visualizing them...ha! They hit the "bingo" spot on me. Oh...there's also the number pattern thingy...I was trying to figure out 2 questions. But they're so time-consuming. Mdm Teng's words rang in my mind: Knowing sequence is a discontinuous variation, it's either you know it or you don't, no need to waste so much time on it...that made me proceed to other questions that require more of attention.

Headed to Mos Burger for dinner after that long 2 and a half hours of thinking and utilizing my brain juice. Saw Mediacorp artise Chen Hui Hui promoting the opening of her new boutique- Static at the heart of AMK Central. She was talking but it was ironic that the crowd was so scarce, like no one was interested in her like that. I bet if it was some Hollywood actress like Tyra Banks or Leonardo Dicaprio or even Twins, the whole of AMK would be swamped by fanatics.

Didn't know Mrs Veda was taking 851 also. She gave me a shock when she sat next to me. So I showed her my Bio paper MCQ, and she reaffirmed my answers...so that boosted my confidence to an even higher level. I'M PLACING MY HOPES ON YOU BIO! DON'T FAIL ME...

Resting for one day before I continue for another 3 days of cramming...it just scares me that History, A-Maths and Chem is next week. These are my killer subjects.

God bless me...cheerio and all the best to all the peeps going through the tormenting period together with me! =D

2006-10-24T00:17:00.000+08:00

Arrgh! I hate my life now...I loathe the way it goes each day...I detest waking up every morning only to study!! Each time I turn on the radio, I hear some peep calling in to the DJ, sharing with her on air how they're enjoying their lives now, planning parties and such after the end of their exams. And there I am, "choing-ing" for my O levels. IT SUX! JUST SUX!!!

Headed to school for consultation today and I came across coaches ferrying the students back to school. Hmm...must have been to somewhere for their post-exam programmes. Passed my the parade square and a group of students, a BIG BUNCH, were before me, roller-skating. I sigh to myself as I slowly trudged up the stairs...to the quiet row of classes that flank one side of the corridor. Luckily my time in school was rather productive, as I've cleared my doubts that have been stacking up in the pile consisting of 8 Maths papers. Even the old people are so relaxed and unaffected...each time I look at the elderly or the group of line dance women, how I wish they would stop whatever they're doing and take the O levels with us. Especially the irritating man who has been singing karaoke, causing much disturbance to our English remedial lesson.

I really feel very guilty...I'm supposed to concentrate on studying, but the thoughts of what to do AFTER the exam never fails to flit through my mind. It's like I have so...many things on my agenda:

AJ HK trip, 4/5 chalet, Church Christmas project, Church camp, AJ and AMK alumni practices, family trip (even though the destination is not planned yet), Grad night, steamboat gathering with my 3 good buddies (Rach, Le and Sal) and not to mention time for myself.

Haiz...O LEVELS IS CERTAINLY LIKE A DISGUSTING BARRIER TO ALL THOSE LEISURE ACTIVITIES!! =(

2006-10-19T23:42:00.000+08:00

SHIT! SHITTY SHITTY SHIT!! I'VE RUINED MY BIOLOGY PRACTICAL!! And it's not Prelims, mind you, it's O Levels!! Their English used is so "cheem cheem" one...luckily my command of English is rather good to comprehend what they're trying to say...lol...All was okay until I was told to find the concentration of the solution which would not cause any change in the size of the stupid onion ring. I was like.."what the hell?"...how to find? Even the intersection point would have a change...until they told me after the practical to draw negative graph. NEGATIVE GRAPH? OH CRAP! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SUCH THING!! Should brush up more on my Maths...haiz...

And there was this instruction to scrap of one side of the leaf to expose it. When I first read it, I was stunned. I just sat frozen at my place, trying to "decipher" the hidden meaning behind it. Then the thought of raising my hand asking for help flitted through my mind. Should I or should I not? In the end, I decided against it as it might cause a loss in marks. So...yup...I tried to digest the sentence slowly, word by word and then go into action. Thankfully for Seok Teng in front of me...ha ha!

Another thing I would like to express my gratitude for her was the starch test...Stage 1 and 2 were like weird to me...I know they're not martian to those who are well-versed in Biology, but they are to me. The sample was first boiled in ethanol then water. Then they asked me to state Steps 3 and 4. Again, I sat there trying to think why there were steps like 1 and 2 involved in starch test. Until I saw Seok Teng in front of me putting the sample on a white tile and dripping iodine onto it. So it gave me an idea at least to pen down something.

Stage 3: Put the sample on the white tile.
Stage 4: Drop a few drops of iodine onto it.

As I write it, I felt like laughing...I mean, it's so stupid...putting the sample on a white tile as a step...lol...but well, when you're desperate, leaving a blank is even worse than writing something stupid there.

Hui Min called and informed me to go down to AJ tomorrow for the HK trip briefing. Going down is okay, but the timing to go there is kind of...late! 5:30pm. Princess Hours is at 7...and Charmed at 8:30...must reach home before 8pm...hmm...

To sum it up, I think that the practical I most fear is actually Chemistry. Because I totally screwed that up. I only managed a 10 out of 40. Damn it!! Hopefully I can manage my time better during the real "O"s. Or else, it's "Sayonara" to my A for Chemistry. AND I'M COUNTING IT FOR MY R5!! AH CRAP!!!!

PS: I HAD AN A2 FOR MY CCA GRADE!! Well, not counting my participation in the SYF when I was in Sec 1. Mr Ling doubted me...can't blame him, I was the only Sec 1 to participate then...so I told him to ask BT if he is still skeptical about it. Since we got a Silver, I most probably could get another 2 points. 24+2=26. AN A1!! WOO-HOO! This shows that you can still get an A without being any section leader or holding posts...THAT'S 2 BONUS POINTS FOR ME!! YAY!!!

2006-10-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Went to AJC's Open House today, just as I've promised Hui Min about 3-4 days ago. OMG! I love the school!! The hall is air-conditioned and even the band room's carpet feels soft under your feet. It's even better than AMK's one...their carpet is thicker and more luxorious. THEY EVEN HAVE SOFAS FILLED WITH CUSHIONS!! Actually, the room wasn't open to the public. But...when you have a senior who's in AJ, some things just could have a leeway for you. Attended the Principal's talk and found out that Bio, Chem, Maths at H2 with Econs at H1 is one of the three most popular courses in AJ. AH!!! MY FAVOURITE NUMBER ONE COURSE!!! Hmm...better work hard...

So I followed Hui Min together other seniors around. She was nice...showing me round the school. We saw the auditorium where they had their lectures there and even to her classroom. Their tables and chairs were neatly arranged, because all the occupants in that room are girls...yup, GIRLS ARE NEAT AND TIDY. THEY PRIMP, AND THEY PREEN TO MAKE SURE THEY LOOK THE BEST. Lol...

The percussion ensemble was rather nice, but somehow I felt that they played the same thing in AMKSS. Canteen wasn't that elaborate, but still, it wasn't that bad either. Heard from Hui Min that they have a very "hot" drink that students go ga-ga about and that's Mango Madness from the little Cafe at the corner. She told me it was very nice, a pity the cafe isn't open today...only during school hours.

Handed in my form to a band teacher about my trip to HK. So yup, I surmise it's confirmed. I'M GOING TO HONG KONG. Hope that I'll be able to share a room with Hui Min.

EVERYTHING JUST ROCKS THERE! I WANT TO GO AJC NEXT YEAR!!!

2006-10-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

The word "farewell" means parting. It does appear in most of our dictionaries, including mine. But it is always very difficult to experience or fulfill. I loathe farewell assemblise or functions because they make me cry. However, I still headed to the hall despite my detest, without bring extra tissue papers.
The hall was not very elaborately decorated, except for the long red carpet on the floor which seem to be the center of attraction. The MC boomed through the often-faulty microphone, announcing each class's arrival as they stepped onto theat carpet that could be used for many years, considering it's not as pristine as I had expected. But never the less, teachers flanked the side of it, clapping, cheering and grinning as we walked through it to our destinated seats. Then, the Principal droned on and on about being Salmons, reminding us of how we should be like them, going against the current just to spawn. Yee Yew whispered that Mr Tan didn't realize that Salmons might as strong sexual desires to mate...lol...After this, teachers stepped onto the stage to sing "I Dream" by Taufik Batisah (uggh!). All along, I thought it was just Ms Poon crooning instead of "Teachers", judging from their puzzled expressions when they look at the lyrics, not knowing the tuning, etc. But it was well-done on the overall, since teachers are busy people, they did took the effort to try to sing along for the sake of us graduants.
We had speeches in the programme, and one of them was my classmate, Derek, who spoke on behalf of all the Sec 4 Express students.

It's rather blur though, my mediocre camera phone has failed to capture his captivating and enticing features. Ha ha!

Dance away with Devolution, the group of Sec 2 students. Their cool, and their moves are groove. I was enjoying myself down there. Splendid performace!!

The teachers went upstage to sing for us a song by "Taufik Batisah" (uggh!). All along, I feel that it was just Ms Poon crooning as most of them were staring at the lyrics with a puzzled look on their face. Have a hunch that they didn't manage to get the tune. But well, I guess it was still good after all, since teachers are busy people and they still take the time and effort to put up a performance for us graduants.

Then while waiting for the classes to move out one by one, the sound system started to play the song "Auld Lang Syne". And I CRIED!! I didn't want that to happen, maybe I endured the urge for too long and upon hearing this jazzy music, I broke down and the tears started to flow out.
Once again, we started to move along the red carpet with teachers flanking the side, shaking our hands with words of encouragement. I couldn't hold any longer, sobbing as I shook their hands or even hug them. Ms Zaiton, Ms Poon, "midget but very wise and philosophical" Mrs Ismail, Mrs Veda, Ms Elina, Ms Tan Chwee Lan, Mrs Tan Ann Nie, Zhuo lao shi, Mr Tan Wah Kiat...haiz..all these who have thought me when I was younger or currently..I'll miss them...alot!!
Joo, Janice and I stood outside and cried. It was then I realized I wasn't actually crying. Crying is too general a word to describe me, I was BAWLING!! So so sad...friends embraced me and I bawled even more. Couldn't take it anymore.
But I still managed to pose for a few pictures...appreciate and enjoy it. BUT NO MOCKING OR CRITICIZING!!

Sally and I in the canteen...

Edmund, my "Florida's Natural sweets" supplier...=D

The 5 Handsome princes...=D

Hua-zai and Zee-zai

Jannson and I

My good buddy, Elaine...

Hong Mei and I acting cute...lol...

Rachel and I, again acting cute...ha ha!

And here are some photos I took in class before the assembly...

Seok Teng and Seok Wei...

Rosemary and Xue Li...

Joanne and I...

Joyce, Seok Teng and Phoebe...

Vice-Chair and Chair persons: Wan Joo and Jun Xiang

Well, I think that's all to remember the eventful day...it's really sad to part...but Mrs Veda says we could return to visit the school and all the teachers next year...so I guess it's not truly a goodbye after all! =D

2006-10-09T18:39:00.000+08:00

My body has finally succumbed to the germs and viruses in the atmosphere. It began with a sore throat initially, and "pen and paper" has been my form of communication today. After recess, considering I downed a full bottle of water, my throat was better. But...I was radiating heat during Maths lesson...couldn't concentrate on the mock paper. It just sux..and I haven't mastered the concept of Vectors and RV. There's only one thing on my mind now when the word "A-Maths" pops out in my mind:

SHIT!

Heard from a friend that they make you run like crazy during NS. From one point to another...approximately about, say, 12km? I don't know if the officers are kind enough to let you stop. To me, running 2.4km is already considered quite a feat, what more 12km? I suddenly feel that running around the field to pick up shuttlecorks doesn't seem so bad anymore.

I'm unprepared for O Levels. It seems that everything I've so painstakingly memorised is gone. Gone with the wind...lol...Especially Chemistry. AND I'M NOT EVEN WORRIED ABOUT CHINESE WHICH IS LIKE IN 21 DAYS? Haiz...can somebody take the gong and wake me up? I would very glady appreciate that, thank you.

Things just don't seem to work out the way I want them to. No doubt, I did mention I'll be going with the AJ Band to Hong Kong, however, if I fail to get into AJC next year, I'll have to return the subsidy. Pressure, pressure, pressure. But for the sake of Hui Min, I'll go...don't wanna disappoint her. She asks me to come down for AJ's Open House this coming Saturday at 9am. Hopefully I can make it...

PS: Don't forget to meet Jill outside PHS at 3pm tomorrow. >.<

2006-10-06T16:33:00.000+08:00

It certainly is a very exhausting day. Played badminton with Aloysius, Wan Joo and Janice. They made me run around the whole place receiving the shuttle cork. Janice has improved in her playing by leaps and bounds, at least she doesn't "stone" anymore...lol...I surmise I'll be suffering from body aches the minute I awake tomorrow.

School these days has been as silent as a graveyard, especially today...since 4/5's always the last class to be dismissed at 2:15pm. Reason is due to the Sec Ones to Threes are having their Final Year Examination and Graduating students are exempted from it. On the way down, some of us debated about this particular theory.
For those Biology understudies, here's something to ponder on:

In the "lock and key" hypothesis used to describe the enzymes, is enzyme the key and the substrate the lock, or vice versa?

I believe most of us, including me want to know the correct answer. Mrs Veda says the enzyme is the key and substrate the lock. She is able to support her theory with logical explanation and I agree with her. However, some think that Mrs Veda's theory is wrong and there are other schools who have explanations that are opposite hers. So there we were, arguing, debating, trying to convince one another that our ideology is right. And here I am, asking my friends what they think and how their teachers teach them. After all, we want to get our facts right before we sit for the major paper. I am amenable to alternative views and also most importantly, the evidence to why their thinking is different from mine.

2006-10-03T15:30:00.000+08:00

A couple of things to talk about today...might as well blog now that I have 15 minutes of free time before I go mug...ha ha!

Ok...firstly, I would like to say I'VE CONQUERED PRELIMS!! Yup, I would not divulge of reveal how many points I get, but it's definitely under 20. So...I've qualified for first 3 months at AJC!! Woo Hoo!! =)

Mrs Ismail kept us back today...so feeling bored, I decided to switch on my handphone. Not long after, the object vibrated, indicating there was a message for me. It was Ms Soh, from AJC Band. She asked me what time she could call me, so I replied that as I didn't know what time the teacher was going to release me, I offered to call her instead. I immediately dialed her number after I handed in my assignment and was dismissed. As I was walking down the spiral staircase, she began asking me for my Prelim points, which I told her, of course. Then she began to tell me if she could call me at home instead. That's when I froze in my tracks, icy fingers of fear gripping my spine. Initially, I thought she was going to reject my application because it wasn't up to their standards. So I refused to hang up, I sooo wanted to know what it was about. After much persistance, she broke the news. However, it wasn't bad, it was TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!! A smile spread across my pimpled-face as she said she wanted DSA students to join the AJC Band for their trip to Hong Kong at the end of the year. Oh God!! She told me it was from 11 to 16 Dec (or is it 15)?? I am to let my parents know and if they have any doubts, they could call her to clarify them. Preferably, she would like their reply by this week...

So the appeal WAS a success. I recalled Hui Min telling me they're trying to appeal for DSA students to join their band on the overseas trip, but the outcome wasn't known yet. Now they've finally consented!!

SEE? EVERYTHING'S PREPARED FOR ME NOW. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WORK HARD FOR THE O LEVELS. CAN I DO IT?? HOPE SO!! AJC, I'M COMING!!!!

2006-09-25T17:24:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my Sec 4 AMKSS life, I am proud to announce that I've passed my English!!! Ok...so maybe it's only Paper 2. But nevertheless...after failing for the pass 10 months, especially when you're under a stringent teacher who always claims to sitck closely to "The O Level marking scheme", the chances of you even getting a 30 is a million to 1.

After a meal at the coffeeshop nearby, we proceeded back to the hall where they were already returning our question papers and summary scripts. Well, I was quite disheartened to find that I only have 15/25. Content 9 points, like what I expected and language 6/10.

Then after checking with the answers, I realized that I could actually score an extra point. As in, I did write "the plot of Star Wars was unrealistic" even though the answer says "incredulous" or "unbelievble". So I clarified with Mrs Lai and got a dressing-down from her as she says she'll still give it to me. But she's not sure the O Level markers will as I'm not specific enough in my answer. I still have to write "the plot was unrealistic as they were pitting against great odds". However, I think it;s worth it if she "pays" me one mark after all the scolding.

While I was at the side of the hall "begging" for marks, the going through of the summary points ceased and Mrs Chung stepped onto the stage. I didn't know that they were still going through the answering questions part until Felicia threw my script at me and said" Wa lao...you get so high." I glanced at the mark and saw 11/25. So I retorted:" Where got so high? In the end still fail..." I did a quick calculation in my head and then looked up shocked as realization dawned on me.Because I scored 27/50! Ah!! A pass!! Finally...I mean...I failed common test (18/50) and all the mock exams and practices. So it's kind of amazing that I actually DID pass. Lol...

2006-09-22T20:11:00.000+08:00

Lesson learnt today: GOD DOES CARE FOR YOU!! Why do I say so? Well, let me share with you a story...

Once upon a time, there was a girl called Candice who found out that she'd flunked her Social Studies Paper (22/50). So she was totally upset, dejected and disappointed. Being pissed off, she said so many vulgarites as though there was no tomorrow. Drowning her sorrow in tears, she felt that she was alone in this world, that no one was there to go through this together with her. It was at this time that her mind transported her back to the day when she was doing her Chemistry practical. Her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty as the second hand of the clocked ticked by. She had hoped to complete the paper, both the theory and experiment wise. But things did not go her way despite praying fervently. As a result, she failed to answer the whole of the last page, causing a loss of 6 marks at one go. Thinking of this, tears streamed down even more. No amount of words that her friends said could console her. She had failed utterly.

However, the good thing about Combined Humanities is that she still has the other paper (History) to determine her ultimate fate. On her way home, Candice had already calculated the marks needed to pass on the dot for her overall, which means 50%. This worried her alot as she knew very well that her common test wasn't satisfactory. That night, she couldn't even get a wink of sleep. So she did what she wouldn't have done during the Prelimary period. She once again turned to her only hope: God. It was true, Candice hated the way God was not there with her during Chemistry. Neither were there any signs that He'd helped her to do well in the other papers, or even worse, He did not fulfill her wish of overtaking the Section Leader last year. Nevertheless, he was her only saviour now. The one who was in control of everything, the creator of miracles. She said"God, if you're there, make your presence known. Show me that miracles do happen." With that, she closed her eyes and slowly but surely, fell into a disturbed slumber.

The next morning, she was feeling apprehensive. Many questions flitted through her mind: What if I get a C6 or C5? What if I only managed to score 27/50? What if...

Just then, the teacher Ms Zaiton walked over and handed the scripts to the person in front when all the classes gathered at the parade square for their daily flag-rasing. As the classes were ready to return to their respective classrooms, all the History students flocked to the first student, requesting to their marks. Making sure that the teacher was gone, she then returned all our papers. It was at this time Candice got the shock of her life: 41/50!! She felt light, as though she was on the verge of fainting. The number kept ringing in the head. No, she was certain it was not her paper. But yet the unmistakable handwriting, her name, it was all there. It WAS her answer script. Tears welled up her eyes, but it was of joy this time. It wasn't a C6 or C5 for her overall, it was a B4. One that was beyond her expectation. She then knew who to thank for. She looked up towards the clear blue sky and muttered an expression of gratitude to her saviour, her God. It was all too apparent that he still loves her and did not abandon her even though there was hatred in her towards Him.

Like the statement that most Christians had heard before- God said to the man: "When you see two pairs of footprints, I was walking alongside with you. But when you see a pair of footprints, it doesn't mean I'm not there with you. It just means I'm CARRYING you."...

2006-09-21T19:04:00.000+08:00

Yup, so I've got back some of my papers already...and erm...there's only one word to describe it: CRAP! Yes, crap. I've only managed to get one A1, and that is Chinese. Not to mention the countless beggings I have to make to my teacher to persuade her to push it from a 74 to a 75. Do they allow you to do that in O Levels? Of course not! So my actual mark is actually an A2 only! A-Maths and E-Maths both suck like hell. They're not up to my expectations, especially E-Maths. I'm sooooo close to getting that stupid 70 mark!

Biology, well, I've so far managed to secure an A, a low grade A. And if my practical fails me, I can kiss it goodbye and drop to a 3.

Wanna hear even more horror stories? My Social Studies paper is very very not good. That's all I can say. I'm now counting on my History to push my marks up at least to a 4. That's how bad the situation is people.

Chemistry? Don't even think about getting a 2, it's like I'm hoping for a 3 now. Since I've screwed my Chem prac up and I don't think my Paper 2 is going to excel, neither is Paper 1. So how? Like I said in my August entry, getting below 20 is a feat. Hmm...guess I do not have to eat up my words after all.

If I can pass my Physics, I am the happiest young lady on Earth. I don't give a care for Physics, because I am not the type of material to do well in it.

Oh yes, the final and crucial subject of all. ENGLISH!! What with the review about Star Wars and terrorism, haiz...do you think I know about Star Wars, or even have interest in it? To me, it's just a lousy show with the worst special effects anyone can ever imagine in their whole lives. Hope I can at least at a 18 to 20 for my expository essay.

SHIT!!! I'VE ACCIDENTALLY DELETED ALL THE 95 POSTS IN MY TAG. PEOPLE, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY AND REGRETFUL OF MY ACTIONS. REGULAR VISITORS OF MY BLOG PLEASE KEEP TAGGING. YOUR POSTS ARE INVALUABLE! (And I really didn't do it on purpose. Hmm...must never meddle with such stupid function ever again!)

2006-09-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

Joanna's right. They do give weird experiments during Prelim...and to think I spent so much time trying to remember the structure of a tomata, well, the labellings like funicle, endocarp, epicarp, mesocarp, placenta and so on. And what came out was...

A KIDNEY BEAN SEED!!! And you know what? The stupid coat is like so difficult to peel...wish I had even longer fingernails. Luckily I remember the major part was the cotyledons while the protruding thing was a radical...not too bad. But the next experiment was worse!! I had to choose 40 brown and white rice seeds and had to measure each and every single one of their lengths! I felt so frustrated upon doing this. Think I'm going to fail my Biology practical!! Ah!! And there are 2 killer papers tomorrow (if you consider A Maths and English are)!! Seriously, I really fear that I can forget about the 3-month probation and about graduating this year.

What's worse, some people just do not understand how I feel! Recalling my conversation with him just makes me want to throw up blood! Fine, you say if I think I'm lousy, those people who are lazy should quit school long ago. But look, it's ok if you don't have high hopes about yourself, I do have. And quit telling me that my expectations are influenced by my parents because they're not. You know what? I'm fine with the fact that you don't study and like to switch girlfriends as frequent as you change your clothings, but don't ever tell me to relax my nerves and slack. Because I myself know the result if I do, and that is failure, which I simply cannot tolerate. So just shut up and for once at least try to empathise with me instead of chiding and giving nonsensical opinions!!

Received a postcard from Teens 4 Christ yesterday...it sure touched my heart...To Gabriel, Marissa, Marcus, Caleb, Uncle Samuel, Aunty Yvonne and Sybin jie jie: A million and one thanks and heartfelt gratitude to you guys!! Really appreciate the fact that I'm missed in church and also I'm not the only one going through this difficult and tiring road alone. Miss all of you too! Hopefully I can come for worship and fellowship after my Prelims.

2006-09-05T23:59:00.000+08:00

Promiscuous
Nelly Furtado

Am I throwin you off?
Nope
Didn't think so

How you doin' young lady
That feeling that you giving really drives me crazy
You don't have to play about the joke
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke

Looking for a girl that'll treat you right
You looking for her in the day time with the light
You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night

You expect me to let you just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it

All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What's the problem I don't see no ring on your hand

I be the first to admit it
I'm curious about you
you seem so innocent

You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I'm tired of running, lets walk for a minute

Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And it's you that I want

Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I'm all yours
What you waiting for?

Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead
But you're still kinda cute

Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
Where you at, do you mind if I come through

I'm out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down

I'm a big girl
I can handle myself
But if I get lonely
I'ma need your help
Pay attention to me
I don't talk for my health

I want you on my team
So does everybody else

Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down ain't nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go

What kind of girl do you take me for?

Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And it's you that I want

Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I'm all yours
What you waiting for?

Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

Don't be mad, don't get mean
Don't get mad, don't be mean
Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
Don't get mad, don't be mean

Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on

I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on

Bring that on
You know what I mean

Girl, I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things

I'm only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say

It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you gonna like

Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

Promiscuous Girl
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And its you that I want

Promiscuous Boy
I'm calling your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you're making me wait

Promiscuous Girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

Promiscuous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more

2006-09-03T23:02:00.000+08:00

Once again, it's the annual Mooncake Festival. Hmm...favourite time of my year. Why? Because I can get to eat mooncakes!! Went shopping with my family at Thomson Plaza. So I kept pestering Mummy to buy mooncakes from Bengawan Solo, those snowskin ones. They're rather popular, especially pandan flavour. They were all sold out last week, all with the yolk in the center. That's why cannot lose to those people again! All in all, we bought 12 mooncakes, 4 for me, 4 for Mummy and 4 for the "little brat" Brian =P. Haha, Mummy and I bought the ones with yolk while Brian bought those that are plain due to his dislike for egg. Well, the 3 of us finished 4 in 2 days. This is what I call "pro". Oh, and by the way, their box is very unique. Here's a picture of it:

And after eating 4 of them...

Please don't ask me why it's all green...because I love pandan!! We actually bought strawberry and yam, but they are now in my Mum's stomach, probably used as fertilizer already...ha ha!Well, went through RV (Relative Velocity) with Daddy today. At least I'm beginning to see some "light" in this whole topic. And it's actaully quite comforting to know he doesn't really understand some questions. And so...he condemns them, saying they're inaccurate and "no good". Probably right in some way, since he's an experience lecturer in the field of engineering. Anyway, I've finally succumbed to the temptation of playing Sims 2. I so love this game, since Le Ying taught me a cheat code that can make life for me alot easier. Thanks girl!!

Jae Win and Daphne didn't go for the gathering during Teachers' Day. They both asked me if they had missed out alot. Hey guys! You DID miss out alot! Oh! Did I mention I also saw my Primary One Maths teacher Ms Lily Yew? Goodness! Even after she's married and had a kid, she's still so slim...think she could be the spokesman for one of the slimming companies or products. Very very slim...even slimmer than Mrs Yeoh. Lol...she didn't seem to recognise Joanna and I but all the same, she still talks to us and tells us about the funny things that happen when you teach P1s. Brings laughter to me to know that I actually behave so childishly when I was young...

2006-08-31T18:37:00.000+08:00

6C 2002 BATCH REUNITED ONCE AGAIN!!!

Never felt so happy today!! Returning to KCPPS is always something that I look forward too. After celebration, straightaway headed back there. As I signed in, I saw Jill and Kok Liang's name on the list. Whew! At least I wasn't the only one, there were people earlier. So I went to the canteen to look for them and saw Audrey breezing past me. Haha! And to think she "dao" me yesterday. Lol...anyway she already explained her reason. Something urgent to attend to right? The 4 of us (Jill, Kok Liang, Audrey and I) sat at the canteen table and talked. Then came a bunch of guys, also from 6C. Justin, Mikhail, Joel, Joanna, Anna, Ze An, Cheok Mun and Shi Hui. It seems like everyone's changed after 4 years. Justin and Mikhail more "manly" =P, Joel and Shi Hui taller than ever and even Anna too. Pretty little charming lady that mesmerized me. Haha!! Audrey also increased in height and Jill and Kok Liang are like holding important positions either in counsellor or CCA. Me?? I think I'm still stagnant. didn't even change one bit...and I'm not even weilding any power in CCA. Just a puny, pint-sized member. Haiz...and oh! Did I mention Joanna was a counsellor before? See? Everyone is like...how does the Chinese saying go? "Cheng Long Cheng Feng" while mine is "Yi Shi Wu Cheng"...even Francis is topping his class in studies...HAIZ!! I suck!!

Yeoh emerged out of the staffroom at 1 plus, after such a long time of waiting. Then we talked about so many things. And Mrs Yeoh even said A-Maths and E-Maths are easier than primary school. I was flabbergastered. I mean? Are you kidding? I always fail...to get an A for both of them. But ha ha! She also dislikes Physics, and loves Chemistry. Yeah!!! She says Biology is also not her type, however it's one of my faves!! And Mrs Yeoh was previously from AJC. Cool huh? So capable...I don't even know whether my Prelims will fail me or not. Hui Min says I can still be eligible for the 3-month-trial even though I score above 20, but I doubt so. Hopefully can. There was one thing that Mrs Yeoh said that I still couldn't get it out of my head. In fact, it's sending chills down my spine. She commented TYS are very important, especially for both Maths. We have to "sleep" with it also, meaning practise and practise to understand the concept. I know, but the thought of having to "sleep" with it really makes me want to puke. Uggh! TYS. Bleh...

The school now is very well developed...and you know what? The library rocks!! It's such a big room, very open space and it's even equipped with computers just placed near the entrance. Like it's meant for everyone to use without even having to register your name. My current school? I don't even think I've touched the keyboards in the library. The staircase is marvellous! It even has times table numbers painted on it. Hmm...wonder if my school can paint differentiation and integration and logarithm formulas on the spiral stairs. Then each morning as I walk up, I can memorize them in my head! =)

I just missed those days when we were kept back in class during recess to do corrections. It may seem very bad of Mrs Yeoh to do that, but looking back, I realized it was for our own good. After all, she said when she does that now, parents complain straight to the General Office behind her back. Well...that's bad.

Met Mr Ong today as well after Mrs Yeoh. He hasn't changed one bit even after 4 years. Erm...except his hairstyle, it's like more curly now, like "Maggi Mee". Lol...thought he wouldn't recognize me after such a long time but hey! His memory is still solid. He bought a new flute...think it's Armstrong brand...the one with the gold mouth piece for $2800. And he bought it after I leave...haiz, why can't he buy it when I'm still there?? Purposely want to spite me...lol...He's still teaching KCP band...and the members there looked so cute...I'm starting to miss life in KCP band also!! He says teaching sec school band is better than teaching a pri school one but I beg to differ. I mean, sec school is also equally bad...like need expression and style..whereas pri is teaching basics. They were playing "March Together" today which we already learnt in AMK band. Turns out Mr Ong also knows my AMK conductor Mr Tan. But apparently, Mr Tan doesn't know him. Anyway...it feels good to know people do remember me even after I graduate for so long. Hey! My picture's still in the school hall!! HA HA!!

PS: I "brag" to all my friends that my DSA was approved! Felt so good, haha...just kidding!! Actually, it's only half the battle won. Still have to depend on O Level results. Should have applied to Hwa Chong also...lol...

2006-08-24T18:30:00.001+08:00

CANDICE CHOONG!!! PLEASE WAKE UP!! How can you make careless mistakes? Especially when the Maths paper today is easier compared to all the other papers that you did the past few days?? Formula of cone is 1/3 x base area x height. It's not that they never give you the formula. Mrs Seah was kind enough to even stick it at the top of the question. And then you can even make mistake, suddenly adding a 2 out of the blue and now, everything is wrong. WRONG!! ERROR CARRIED FORWARD!! 6 MARKS GONE! And not to mention the numerous blanks you left behind while trying to complete the paper in a time span of 2 hours. People are telling you they even have half hour left to sleep and check, with NO blanks at all! And there you are still struggling to finish the paper!!! YOU BETTER BUCK UP!! PEOPLE ARE SAYING THIS PAPER IS EASY. EASY!!! If you want to secure your A2 you have to do well in tomorrow's paper!! Or else you can really forget about entering first 3-months into your dream JC. Considering last year's batch only 10% of them made it through Prelim results. And worse still, it's one of the lousy JCs and not the good ones. Haiz...to hit a 20, you MUST get your 4 subjects A2! Then your English and Combined Humans a C6. Don't get headaches tomorrow!!! CONCENTRATE!!!! ARRGH!!

2006-08-18T18:37:00.001+08:00

Today marks the day when I have my O Level English Language Oral Examination. I was considered rather lucky to be the 5th person. Only have to wait for half an hour. As I watch them go into the room one by one, I was getting even more and more anxious. Until it was time for me to go sit at the table to prepare myself while Mr Chio timed me. The passage was about friends...something mentioning the "Heart Wall" while the picture was about some group of students writing their messages on the hearts found on SBS buses( you know what I mean). Thus, as I was studying the 2 sheets of paper, I surmised that the topic for the conversation would roughly be about "Friends" too.

After what seemed like hours, Seok Teng emerged from the back door and it was my turn to stand by the entrance to wait for permission to enter. Then Janice suddenly said my uniform was out, well, I guess I would be penalised taking into consideration the fact that these 2 examiners were rather particular about image and things like that. I was so flustered and annoyed that I have to tuck it in until both my O Level sheet and EZ-Link Card dropped on the floor. THAT'S THE LAST STRAW! I LOATHE MYSELF. WHY CAN'T I DO A SIMPLE THING LIKE THIS RIGHT? I took one deep breath as if it was my last and entered the cold, dreadfully quiet room- Dream Studio.

Passage reading was fine, for the male examiner commented a "Good". Ha ha! Picture was okay, and he laughed when I said I could see one of the girls having a contrive smile, thus, she must be hoping she looks good in the picture. Conversation, just as I had deduced, was FRIENDS! And the best part is that I HAVE JUST PREPARED THIS TOPIC YESTERDAY WITH MS NG!! So kind of remembered what she has elaborated and just "shot" everything into the examiners' face. About qualities I look for and well, some examples of what my close friends have displayed that made me like them. He kept laughing when I said there are many people in this world who have different characters and even scheming people who make use of you. Lol...anyway, we went on to studying- whether I prefered to studying alone or in a group. So I said I prefered studying alone and stated my reasons. Yup...actually, I was kind of relaxed during my time there. In nature fact, you could say I'M IN LOVE WITH THE MALE EXAMINER. LOL...x_x

2006-08-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

It's 10 days to Prelim!! Am I panicking? No, I'm not. I'M JUST BECOMING HYSTERICAL!! AH!! These are the most depressing days of my life...it's the point where everything just keeps sinking and it feels like nothing is up. Totally gloomy and cheerless. I've received my papers back for both Maths. No, I mean the Prelim 2005 papers. Guess what? I failed one and I just passed one. Goodness, I swear I could have died if this was my results for the Prelims. Haiz...

Learnt from teacher and Xue Li that Chinese could actually be counted as R5. Well, at least I have hope now. I can truly certify that I'm not bothering about Physics anymore. I've been failing throughout the 2 years and I'm a bona fide Physics-idiot. The real McCoy. One-of-a-kind. The type that is really hopeless and "cureless".

Now I'm counting on my English, Combined Humans, 2 Maths, Chemistry, Biology and last but not least, Chinese. Hope these 7 subjects would do well for me to enter AJ for the first 3 months, now that I've given up hope on Physics. CHEMISTRY, PLEASE DON'T FAIL ME AGAIN!!

Anyway, I've taken some new pictures again to show how "hardworking" I am...hey I am really hardworking! =P

My messy table...

My 2 "favourite" pages...

And not forgetting my all-time top favourite companion. Double Chocolate Cookies!!

2006-08-11T21:41:00.000+08:00

When one can't get any sadder, the tears just dry up...

To the people who excelled: My heart-felt congratulations

To the people who didn't make it/ feel they could do much better: Come on peeps! Life still has to go on despite this setback. Let's work harder for the second time, or to some, the third time!! I do not believe that we could not achieve success if we work extremely hard!

2006-08-07T17:59:00.000+08:00

Just received a call from NYJC. In normal circumstances, I would be very elated and jumping for joy, screaming my lungs out. But now? I'M CAUGHT IN A DILEMMA, IN A PREDICAMENT!!

No doubt they have accepted my application, but I cannot deny the fact that my heart suddenly felt heavy. Now 2 JCs have accepted me!! Oh God!! The rules of this DSA is that I'm not suppose to "two-time" JCs if not I'm disqualified of the scheme should I be caught violating their rules. This wasn't suppose to happen!!

I'm so sorry Mr Tan!! If I could turn back time, I would. I thought I wouldn't be able to get in AJ...so I applied to NY as well...then AJ offered first, "striked while the iron was hot" and I accepted theirs. Haiz...I think Mr Tan will flare up when he knows about this. I wanted to tell him I didn't want NY already, but it was just so unfortunate, or maybe I was being made a sport at, that he was overseas. When I learnt from my juniors during the concert that he "sarcastiscally" said I was in his JC after they asked about me, I really wished at that moment he truly was being sarcastic. Then I wouldn't have to be the "baddie" and turn down his offer. I'd rather he don't want me to be in.

Daddy agrees that NY is a good junior college. However, it's been my dream to enter AJ. It's either one or none, considering I'll be disqualified if I accept both...lol

Mummy says I "played people out", since Mr Tan was really kind-hearted to help me out. This made feel even more remorseful. PLEASE! I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN!! AH!!!

Why is life so cruel? It's either you have everything in the world or you don't have none. Some people I know can't get in. But yet, I should consider myself luxurious to have the power or right to reject. I'm not boasting, seriously I'm not. My point is...well...Mr Tan went through so much trouble (I surmise) to get us in and now I'm not appreciating his effort. Think about this: No auditions, no interview, don't even have to submit in application form (even though I did) and you can enter.

I'm still pondering how to break this news to NY when I go collect the confirmation form tomorrow without causing any hard feelings. Wish me luck.

PS: Maybe I'm just over-reacting and being paranoid...-_-

2006-08-04T23:06:00.000+08:00

It's 20 days more to Prelims. Or rather, 19...excluding today. AND I'M SICK!! Why did the stupid influenza virus attack me? I just cannot take it lying down. I take Vitamin C everyday (well, almost everyday), have a balanced diet and adequate sleep (if you call 6 hours sufficient). BUT WHY AM I BEING ATTACKED BY THIS VIRUS??? I woke up this morning with a nose that runs like a spoiled pipe, coupled on with some sore throat. I think it got worse during curriculum as I had a severe blood rush the minute I lifted my head up from the table after some time.

Attempted to study just now...and I really really tried hard. But to no avail. I can't do "strenous" subjects as I lack the concentration I should have when I'm well. So I started reading SS from the scratch. Chapter 2: Merger & Separation. At least I could understand 1 chapter. It just sux...knowing you're going to waste one precious day nursing yourself back. And Daddy calls me problematic. Hello? It's not as if I'm the one at fault for having created my own sickness...and talk about a hectic scheldule tomorrow and the day after too. Heading for a hair cut in the morning and then to church for some Musicians Workshop thingy...then on Sunday? Waking up at the crack of dawn...or NOT EVEN THE CRACK OF DAWN for NDP performance. After all, I asked for it didn't I? I could have reported at 7am if I didn't choose to perform...so I only have myself to grumble at. Looking at the pile of subjects and chapters is just enough to motivate me to commit suicide. With the addition of the pressure that I must get below 20 for my Prelims...which, I surmise, it near-impossible thanks to the two "hot" subjects- English and Combined Humans.

God, God, God...I truly am at my wits end...I seriously have thoughts of committing suicide each time I look out from my balcony...and now this flu! Somebody, anybody...please help me!! Counsel me, encourage me, motivate me...

If there is a brain concoction, these are the brains I would like to have:

Mrs Goh- Chemistry

Mrs Veda- Biology

Daddy- Physics

Mr Goh- A/E Maths

Ms Ng- English

Mrs Ismail- Social Studies

Ms Zaiton- History

Lol...it may be grossteque...but at least I know I will definitely excel in my studies...I simply admire these teachers or my own dad for all the vast knowledge they have in that particular subject. Haiz...but for now...I think I'll be the stupid me with absolutely no knowledge at all...

2006-08-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

A Chinese saying goes like this: "Ri you suo si, ye you suo meng"(whatever you pin for in the day will also appear in your dreams). Seems familiar to most I suppose. Hey peeps! This is really true. Guess I've been thinking of that Nokia 6111 phone too intensively. It just triggers my temptation each time I see Jolene, Ashley or Kai Hui reaching out for that phone out of their pockets. It's so agonizing to the extent that I even dreamt I owned that phone last night! Arrgh!! My stupid M1 contract expires next month, on the 8th. Goodness...that's a long time!! It just seems like eternity! The cost of this phone is $268...yes, I know it's cheap to many of you...since some I know even bought phones that cost nearly $800...ha ha! But Mummy remains firm in her stand that no costly valuables should land on my hands as they will not come to any good end. She's even categorising this price in the expensive category. So I had to impassion her with my pleas that I really yearn for that phone and I'm willing to pay with my own savings. -_-"...such a "niao" woman...lol...

Seriously I musn't think about this now...since I guess I'll be eating mooncakes with my books under the moonlight...if you know what I mean. Heh heh...quite "atmospheric".

Quarrelled with Daddy 2 days ago. And I can't comprehend this...since it's just over one STUPID FISH HEAD! So well, we're currently "battling" each other under the Cold War. Such a petty man...I don't care, unless he starts talking, don't expect me to break this silence, because I WILL NOT!

Anyway, that's all for today. Gotta go study...AND STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT PHONE!!!

2006-07-31T20:19:00.000+08:00

Attempted the E-Maths Prelim 2005 Paper 2 and wanted to vomit blood. I simply can't believe that this is the very paper that my predecessors took. Haiz...I just don't have any confidence in myself as my own Prelims are looming ahead.

Today, while attending band practices, I suddenly felt apprehensive as a surge of fear rushed past my body. Out of the blue, numerous "What if"s started to pop out of my head.
Here are some of them..."ENJOY!"

What if:
1) I can't graduate?
2) I can't score below 20 points for my Prelims?
3) The same predicament happens in my O Levels?
4) I can't enter AJC?
5) I fail English and Combined Humans?
6) I fail to score an A in my upcoming Chinese O Level result?

Oh God, please help me...I'm suffering from insomnia every night...staring at the icy black darkness of the sky, gazing at the stars that are twinkling so brightly ever, as if yearning to share their joy and happiness with me. If only I'm like them...rain or shine, I'll be there in the galaxy, acting as glittery ornaments for the plain sky. No worries, no sadness, I will have no feelings. Well, that beats having to worry about my Prelims and Os. Or whether I'll actually get to survive 2006 in one piece. God, I beg you to help me...I sincerely ask you to save me...

2006-07-28T19:35:00.000+08:00

Why is Chemistry practical my unlucky time? Just when I tried so hard not to make any mistakes, things do not go my way. I didn't spill any chemicals on Rosemary's paper, nor did I forget to test for gases...and neither did my test-tube holder suddenly fly out of my hands like it did in Term 2. But...at the moment when I felt I was going to do a splendid job, MY BURETTE BROKE!!!

What happened was...I was happily titrating my stupid substance of Q, chatting so gaily with Rosemary after preparing the Potassium Manganate in the burette and an unknown chemical in the conical flask when out of the blue, the whole glass tube slanted and "CRASH", landed on the floor in numerous pieces. I was stunned, stumped, pertrified and totally clueless about what I should do next. The whole thing crashed with a deafening sound...and so, needless to say, everyone started turning in my direction. To see me kneeling on the floor with the broken glasses surrounded by a purple liquid. Then Mrs Goh came and told me to clean up the pieces while she got a mop to clear the liquid. And Rosemary stopped titrating to help me solve this problem that I created. I have to say I'm a jinx...hampering people's progress in work...why? I just don't comprehend the stupid fact that this is how I end my week. With either breaking things or not finishing my damn experiments on time.

But seriously, I must thank the Lord that I actually manage to escape unscathed. It must be the angels that were protecting me from this disaster. Why else would you explain why the burette fell sideways and broke...and some of the glass pieces actually flew to the nearby tables when it could have fly directly at my face and scar it. Thus, scientific conclusions might be..."Oh, it's probably a coicidence." However, I truly and sincerely believe it was God's mercy that I wasn't even stained by the substance or injured...just a small patch at the end of my skirt which is hardly noticeable...that is if you don't purposely bend down and look!!

All I can say is...PRAISE THE LORD!!

2006-07-26T17:11:00.000+08:00

I RECEIVED THE OFFER FORM FROM AJC!!!

Ta-Da!! =P

Woo...first time in my life I'm credited for something I did alone. Really, I went to audition myself since Hui Min wasn't free at that time, I filled in the application form, did my own CCA certificate and went for the interview...ALL BY MYSELF!!

Well, now that I've been confirmed, all I need to do now is to obtain less than 20 points for my prelims...which is quite a feat judging from the crap results my common tests so kindly "bestowed" me with. And Felicia did much more better than me...yet she's still harping from the fact that I can go through DSA while she can't. I mean...so? She's doing fine compared to me. Seeing her reading her pocket SS book first thing in the morning at the parade square really freaks me out. Considering I spent the whole day yesterday not doing any revision other than watching Pirates 2. Haiz...all the pressures on me and it's I in the end who is deciding my own fate.

I MUST SCORE LESS THAN 20!! ARRGH!!!

2006-07-25T20:24:00.000+08:00

Pirates of the Carribean 1 & 2 ROX!!! The computer effects (Digital Imaging) was so close to perfect, all the characters depicted in the movie looked so real...especially Davy Jones...you can actually see the rough scaly texture of his face...well, octopus-like face. JACK SPARROW ROX!! He's so damn hilarious, comical...I don't think anyone in this world could ever replace Johnny Depp as this Captain! Especially the part where he was fighting the cannibals...HA HA! That got me a tummyache! Orlando Bloom is dashing...but Johnny Depp is even better. Haiz...unlike most of them who already viewed the movie, I do think that this movie has an end. And that is Jack "died" while fighting the stupid creature who enclosed him with the slimy tentacles. But I can assure you Jack Sparrow will never perish. Because there'll be no Pirates 3 without him! Even if there IS one, I don't think it will be warmly received by the audiences as there is no more "spice and flavour" in the movie. So yup...not to worry, my favourite Jack Sparrow will return to dominate the sea!! JOHNNY DEPP, YOU'RE THE BEST!!

Sat on the bus home today and saw a woman sitting in front of me, PICKING HER NOSE! Eeww! It made me want to regurgitate and throw up everything I ate during dinner. It was actually quite unlucky of me to see the slimy pale green mucus protruding out of her nose. What's worse, she rubbed it with her finger and dusted it off the floor. It made me ponder on something: Does she have any sense of hygiene in her? I bet not. Well anyway, she was still picking her nose when I alighted at my destination. Lol...

2006-07-23T17:33:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Uncle KH's birthday at Uncle Mike's house yesterday. Quite alot of people came for the dinner...I guess the theme for the food was spiciness. Because there was curry chicken, and even the filling of the pastry had chilli sauce...lol...and I can't take spiciness.

All of us ate and talked around the dinner table. It was so fun...Uncle Mike was telling us that he saw some "basketballs bouncing" at Heeren on Friday when he went there for shopping. Ha ha...I also tasted wine there. It wasn't my first time, but I just couldn't stand the hot sensation I feel whenever the liquid slips down my throat. And that bitter taste that never fails to linger in my mouth and can only be gotten rid of by drinking Coke. Anyway, I had a marvellous time last night and didn't wish to go home so early if it wasn't for the curfew I was under. So Uncle KH sent me home first followed by Zi Yi to the MRT station...

One thing that made me elated today was the my two fighting fish had spawned!! And they were fighting furiously yesterday. The two fishes were nibbling each other and then curled up and laid still while the little eggs sank down to the tank bed. But I just couldn't comprehend why the female fish must eat her eggs...I guess this is the way of nature. Anyway, the male was putting all the eggs in his mouth and brought it up to the surface of the water, releasing it in bubbles to prevent them from being consumed by the female. Looking at the two of them being so lovey-dovey, I just wished I was the female one...at least I'll be loved by the male fish...lol...

2006-07-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

Chemistry practical was disasterous, a castastrophe!! I accidentally knocked over my test-tube and stained Rosemary's worksheet with limewater. My deepest and most sincere appologies. Wanted to change papers with her but she kept insisted on having the stained one. Such a benevolent girl. She made me felt so guilty about my actions, so sinful. Haiz...

That's not the only thing. I don't even know how to prepare a glowing splint. Until Mrs Goh called out my name and told me to extinguish that fire by the flick of my splint. It's only a glowing splint when there's no fire but light...lol...Finding out anions and cations were worst. With me ending up with solutions different from my peers. My blue litmus paper turned red when instead the red one should change to blue! Ugh! I think I'm going to die soon if I have to do this every week, rushing to and fro in the lab like a crazy woman at the first period.

PE later, we took our height and weight. I'm not revealing the latter, but my whole world came to a stand-still when I realized my height wasn't very optimistic.

Yes, I have shrunk!! SHRUNK!!

Why does life have to torture me...WHY AM I SHRINKING!! OH GOD!! HELP ME!! Broke down earlier but what's the freaking point? I think I'm going to have to start skipping...I don't want to keep shrivelling!! Then I'll have a dimunitive frame...miniature, puny and pint-sized Candice. Someone please teach me how to grow taller, I'll do anything!! I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS DAMN FACT, DAMN IT!!

2006-07-20T18:12:00.000+08:00

I realized my perspective of Ms Ng is beginning to change for the better. I find that she's actually quite alright. Initially, I felt she loves to nag and scream at us, but I now, she's changed in my eyes. Taking the outmost care to answer each of my question, especially since we're doing reports writing today and I couldn't understand why we're being "PI"s, she cleared my doubts and assured me I'll comprehend the concept in time to come. I truly appreciated her patience and she's doing more than what a normal teacher does. She even takes the time to test hus on our oral first before we tackle the "real challenge". Those who are weak will be evaluated on their performance again. Her teaching has rekindled the passion I have for English, not alot but still, there's a little flame burning there. I still loathe English, because I have to pass it no matter what but I keep flunking the whole year through. Just doing comprehension is enough to make me regurgitate. I'll be happy if I get a C5 for my Os.

Mrs Ismail dropped a bombshell on our class today, telling us only 2 passed their SS common test. I guess I'll have to find a good place outside the General Office to do my daily SS assignments. What in the world!! I did study but I'm getting crap results in return. What's the use of studying then? A total waste of time! Ugh!! I can never get Combined Humans right! What's wrong with me?? God save me from this savage world!!

Nevermind, I'll work harder!! I'll be poised and prepared for the prelims and my "final battle". I WILL CONQUER THE Os. VICTORY IS MINE!!

2006-07-19T17:16:00.000+08:00

A normal day today, with no "special" events or anything. Just that Ms Yip a.k.a broke the terrible news to our class during Chem lesson.

Half the class failed their Chem paper. Full stop.

Guess what? I'll probably be that half. Experimenting with my hypothesis with Le Ying based on the information from the other classes, I can conclude that 3/4 of the whole cohort flunked that "killer" paper. Haiz...just when I begin to look to Chemistry for hope, that silver lining in the clouds, I'm so dejected. Why? Why does this have to happen?? Ugh!! I should be prepared for my Os by now!!! Some people like Zi Yi is so damn talented. Study last minute and yet can excel in their papers. And where is he now? He's currently studying in SAJC, Xue Li, Saint Andrews Junior College, your fave college!! People like Felicia, a bona-fide academician, study study and study all day. I'm such a retarded one! How I ever ended up in a 3-science-class is a total perplexity. Up till now, I still haven't received any reply from AJ. Maybe they were scared off by my results, I can't blame them, after all, it's really horrendous, with underlines all over the paper.

Watched Spirited Away during Chinese lesson. How I yearn to be like the protagonist in the movie. Meeting dragons and such...or maybe like the 3 ladies in Charmed. Girl power! Especially Piper's powers- The ability to freeze or accelerate molecules, thus freezing things or blowing things up...BOOM! If I'm not wrong, it should be known as the power of temporal stasis or molecular inhibition.

Anyway...I gotta go now...better revise more before I flunk my Prelims as well. Cheerio!! =P

2006-07-17T16:38:00.000+08:00

O Level Chinese Listening Comprehension status: DEAD!!! Goodness, I think I got 1-2 questions wrong. What's wrong with my ears??? Should have digged my ears yesterday...I'm going to dig it today and make sure it's real clean and dirt-free!! No more comments other than it was broadcasted on 92.4 and that we had to wait for 30 long boring minutes before its commencement.

So elated today to find that my A-Maths common test result was 47/60. Ok, I know to some people out there who are smarter and more genious than me, it's nothing to you. But to me, IT'S AN A1!!!!! Wow, and to think I did better in A than E when I usually have more confidence in the latter than the former. The irony of Candice!! Lol...actually, I found plenty of careless mistakes in both papers. If I could just be a little more meticulous, getting those "A"s shouldn't be too big of a problem (hope so).

My Physics-cannot-make-it fear is confirmed! I FAILED!! For God's sake, I'm just not the type to study and understand Physics, what more apply it. And Benedict's telling me he wants to be a professional in physics, an engineer. Made me even more inferior...haiz...I have Daddy to thank for, forcing and convincing me to choose a triple science class, all pure!! And Dad, kudos to your persuasion and conviction that Physics is easy, chicken-feet. It was really very convincing for an idiot like me. I didn't know I was setting my own death-path when I entered my choice. Now I only have Biology and Chemistry to depend on, please don't let me down!!! And oh yes, I can't fail English and Combined Humans!! Ms Ng please be belovent and merciful when marking my script!! Not so stringent!! Ah!!

Mrs Ismail commented our paper was "ambiguous and mediocre". Fanciful vocab for unclear meaning and bad quality...ha ha!! After going through the questions with us, I then realized I have not added in all her points mentioned in my answer script! I will definitely be positioned at outside the General Office doing SS everyday as punishment for scoring less than 10/25 for Section A.

2006-07-14T19:24:00.000+08:00

"Hopped" onto Rosemary's blog today. Ha ha, I just love "blog-hopping". Reading through her text, I realized that in this world, there are people who like to gossip or hurl insults to their friends. And peeps! This is real. Living in these world currently right are actually some people who don't appreciate your kindness and help to them. They'll just treat you as some sort of "stepping-stone" or in Chemistry terms, "a catalyst". Well, the function of a catalyst is to provide molecules an alternative pathway with a lower activation energy (since when am I so like a chemist?).

One realistic example would be an incident that happened to my bosom friend a few days ago. During lesson, an insect, unfortunately finding no better place to land, fell on friend's shoulder. Of course, any normal girl, would scream and be frantic about it. I know I would. I would scream the hell out of myself and bring the whole classroom down irregardless of the presence of the teacher. Then one of the classmates, an unexpected one, took a video of her jumping here and there. Friends who are in acquaintance with you would stand aside and enjoy the "fantastic show". Only true friends would remain by you and help you out. My other close friend removed the insect for her. So some person, I don't know whether her mouth has problem or she just yearn so much for popularity that she went to spread the word that my two friends are lesbians (hormosexuals). Worse still, her drama skills were so marvellous that she acted very close to my friends. God please tell her to analyse herself first before she gossips about people. She could be sued for scandal.

Also yesterday, my close intimate friend called me and said she found out that this person had been talking bad about her behind her back, making her feeling upset. I may care about what such people say behind my back last term. But this term, I"m really tired of all this stupid tricks. Let me just emphasise on one point that's always on my mind. These people are the insignificant ones and do not deserve any of our concern, time or effort. But what we should really concentrate on is those who care for our well-being. People who love creating scandals are the ones that help us to be stronger. At the end of the day when we look back, if we are even able to overcome or face this, greater challenges should not be a problem to us. Pint-sized and puny, they will one day receive the retribution they deserve when they are judged by God and Jesus. So Rosemary, just take it easy!! =P

2006-07-13T21:33:00.000+08:00

What a long day it is! Had normal lessons, then attended ENGLISH EXTENDED CURRICULUM. Haiz...the school implemented extended curriculum almost everyday. Then headed to band to practice the new songs. One of them was the Florentina March (forgot the name liao...). Goodness!! So many "beansprouts" on the paper. Furthurmore, there are so many lines. It seemed like playing a high B-flat was so common. Why didn't they give such pieces when I was still there?? After I left, the pieces were more challenging and well, fun to me. I corrected some rhythm mistakes the juniors made today. Still think they have much more to learn and improve. But it's already a fine job. Keep it up!

Wayne came online just now. In fact, he came online a few times. But each time I saw the pop-up sign, I just kept staring at it. My mind went blank. I wanted so much to comfort him, to tell him how sorry I was and to let him know I'll be there for him as a friend should he need me. I'm just a sms, a msn message or a phone call away. But I just don't know how to express my thoughts into words. Maybe that's why I keep failing English and Combined Humans...ha ha! I understand that currently right now, no amount of words or vocabulary, no matter how powerful or elaborately phrased, is going to make him feel better. However, as a church friend and a CG member (even though I so seldomly attend CG meetings), I wanted to do more than just attending the funeral sevice and telling him to "Take Care". Shit! What was I thinking at that moment telling him to "take care"?

Forgot something else. I met some people that took me by shock at the Monday service. Well, I'm not going to say who they are but these two persons actually knew Uncle Harry. How surprising. It's a pity their relative didn't come...but of course that person didn't arrive. After all, he is busy with his own schedule. Besides, I promised myself to eradicate his image of my mind. AND I WILL DO IT!!

2006-07-12T18:15:00.000+08:00

Tears In Heaven
Eric Clapton

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

2006-07-11T18:15:00.000+08:00

Uncle Harry was cremated today at 10 plus in the morning. Mummy didn't go today as she was afraid she would cry. She didn't tell me but I could tell from her face. After all, they have known each other for 10 over years.

Attended his funeral yesterday at All Saints Chapel. It was the last night before the cremation. Lots of people from SLC made their presence. The small chapel was crowded but Mummy and I were both lucky to find to seats at the far end. From there, I could make out some of the people I knew who came. There was of course, Pastor Khoon Hoe and Aunty Yvonne, Marissa and family, Melissa, Aunty Cassandra, Aunty Joanne, Uncle Samuel and many others I couldn't recognize. But there, in front of the pulpit, was the unmistakable shape of the coffin, made of wood with some decorations of gold. Half of it was lifted up. It was placed behind a photo of him. We started of with some church songs before Rev Soo started a message. The whole atmosphere was heavy and intense, everyone present was so solemn and grave. Seated at the very first row, was of course his 3 sons: Wayne, Bryan and Evvyn and their mother Aunty Pauline.

Bryan sang a farewell song called "Tears in Heaven" while Wayne played the guitar. As I was watching him trying to hold back his tears as he delivered the song to his beloved father, tears welled up in my eyes. Testimonials about Uncle Harry were then said on the stage. Of how he had been a good father, husband and a faithful servant of God.

But the most touching one was by his own wife. Aunty Pauline was definitely heartbroken as she spoke of how she would not be able to share meals with him in the car or do marketing with him anymore. It's rather saddening. The unexpectancy of life.

After the service, we all got to take a last look at him and comfort the bereaved family. As I passed by, I only caught a glimpse of the coffin, but that was enough to scare the wits out of me. Call me gutless, craven or timid but I couldn't care less. The image kept appearing in my mind the minute I close my eyes, thus posing difficulties for me to sleep last night. Just wish I had never been so naive and heeded Mummy's advice.

Anyway, after that eventful day, Mummy and I boarded a cab home (lucky for us). By the time I reached my destination at 11pm, I was so weary and tired. Goodness, and I still have to report to school the next day!!

2006-07-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

Mrs Tan, my piano teacher, organized a workshop at her house today. At 3pm, the whole family went by car to her house. I was there half an hour early. That's the typical me, I'm either very late or very early. Why can't I be on time?? Anyway, Tina reached there followed by Yi Jia.

We went in to Mrs Tan's room and started playing our exam pieces. There are 4 in total: Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin, Doctor Gradus ad Parnassum by Claude Debussy, Sonata in C (K309/284b) by Mozart and lastly, the Hungarian Dance by Bartok.

My goodness, I think I played the worst today. Probably due to the lack of practice because of my procrastination, hesitating to play till the night before. This is a mediocrity you shouldn't learn from me...ha ha. Made a thousand and one mistakes today, Mrs Tan was kind enough not to bestow me a "black face". After all, the other 2 also had numerous breakdowns. I mean, we're all nervous aren't we? It's totally understandable if we made errors that we didn't make normally. In fact, it was totally bizarre that teacher even said all the pieces were "not bad" when I felt I could fail in the exam judging on how I performed. Just so incredulous, unbelievable!!

Tomorrow will be considered a big day for all the my juniors as they'll be having an ensemble performance/competition at Raffles Hotel, Jubilee Hall. Good luck and all the best! You can do it!

2006-07-07T23:08:00.000+08:00

Went on a shopping spree with Hui Min at J8 today so we could while time away as we wait for the Pastamania 30% discount to commence at 2pm. The way Hui Min shops is so unique, it's like she just walks in the shop and within 2 minutes, she's out and tells me: "This shop isn't worth shopping...no new things." I was like...what?? You brisked walk through and how can you differentiate which goods are new and which are not? Ha ha...the observations of an experienced shopper-holic. For me, if you really wanna call it shopping, I think I'll spend about half and hour scrutinizing each and every single thing there.

What a coicidence too! Met Daphne after 4 long years. She's changed so much, not to mention the ponytail she's keeping at the back of her head. Hey Daph, don't get offended by what I said ok? It was just a humourous joke...lol...

Mummy played me out today. I went to AMK library today to pay off my renewal fees and fines through the cashcard she gave me. Tried both machines and stood there like a moron but it turned out that they rejected my card. So I was left with no choice but to head for the librarian and ask her to do it personally for me. Then she told me the cashcard was expired. Expired? I travelled so far and you tell me it's expired? What in the world!!

Headed down to church in the evening for a seminar on "Spiritual Warfare" and there, I learned more details on Uncle Harry's death.

Apparently, he was doing ministry work in JB and was sharing a room with another person. But the latter had travelled to Malacca leaving him alone. So on Wednesday night, it seems that he collasped on his way to a shower. In fact, he didn't even get to bathe judging from the clothes he still wore that night when they discovered in on Thursday morning when he didn't arrive for breakfast and thus, they had to open the door due to the lack of response after countless knocking and hollering outside. His face turned a darker shade due to the blood ceasing to circulate due to the bursting of his brain vessel (a stroke) after the cardiac arrest. The body was brought back today and was placed in All Saints Chapel. I'll be attending the Monday night service conducted by my Singapore Life Church.

Just hope that Bryan and Wayne will be fine and accept their father's passing with an open mind on the thought that he'll be joining God in Heaven where the streets are paved with gold and there'll be no more sorrows, grief and weeping.

Then God will look at Uncle Harry and say: "Well done, good and faithful servant. You are welcome to join me for eternity where I have already prepared a place for you."

2006-07-06T16:50:00.000+08:00

I got the shock of my life today when I received a sms from Aunty Yvonne. At first when I read the first sentence: Dear all, Eld Harry suffered a heart attack and passed away in M'ysia this morning- I felt indifferent, for I was thinking maybe I didn't know this person. Until I carried on reading: Do keep Aunty Pauline, Wayne, Bryan and family in prayer- It was then I felt the whole world came to a stop. I was so stunned I almost dropped the phone.

Even though I don't really know Uncle Harry and only met him a couple of times in church, but I could tell he's a really good man and father. He has taught his 2 sons well to the extent they love "lightening up the atmosphere"...ha ha...well anyway, he's also a good husband, a jolly man. Always laughing and smiling. Apparently, Mummy says he's from the same youth group as her last time, so it seems he's been in this church ages before I was born. In fact, Uncle Harry's rather young, maybe early 50s? It's quite awful that he died so young. And in a different country somemore, not his own hometown Singapore.

Wonder how Wayne and Bryan are coping with the news. Tears almost welled up in my eyes as I received this news. More over the two of them, accepting this shock that their father just left them with no signal or notice or anything at all. Seriously I don't know how to confort them, because both of them are much older than me, one in their early and late 20s.

But all in all, I guess I have learnt a very valuable lesson today. That is to cherish and treasure what ever you have now. For you'll never know when they'll just "go" right before your very eyes.

2006-07-01T16:50:00.000+08:00

Went to Anderson JC to hand in my form today...before that, I helped Daddy create a Hotmail account. Lol...he's been complaining that Mummy and I have been receiving mail while his outlook express inbox is empty. So we help him fill in his particulars and well, an email address too before we left the house this morning. Reached the JC and handed in the form. Before we left, I managed to take picture of their school signboard. Here it is:

This is my dream...I must aim for this JC...sigh...hope I can score below 20 for my prelims and my O Levels...HELP!!!

After that, we both proceeded to J8 to do some shopping. Ate a beef bowl at Yoshinoya. Finally after 1 month, I can taste the succulent juicy beef...what a wonderful day!!

We passed by Lee Hwa Jewellery when they were displaying their prominent creation- Purple Gold. I managed to take 2 pictures of my beloved jewellery. Something that I will buy with my first salary. They're just one of the most beautiful things in the world!

Headed to Popular to find some assesment books, but to no avail. There wasn't even any OK magazines for me to browse through. Jennifer Aniston took the cover page last month, for this month, it's Madonna. Mummy and I went to NTUC to buy some groceries before returning home...lesson learnt today: Shopping is a great way of relaxing and de-stressing...ha ha!!

2006-06-30T18:24:00.000+08:00

You Are 30% Boyish and 70% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine.You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you.A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down.But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

Ok, enough crap. Just finished all common tests and the most critical one, O LEVEL CHINESE ORAL!!! God, the road between the 2 female examiners and I seemed so long, like a never-ending pathway. My legs were so jelly-like I thought I could trip and fall flat on my face anytime. Passage reading was ok. It was the conversation!! Goodness, the question asked was so "cheem" when they could actually just ask it in simple Chinese- "Do you agree that young Singaporeans are unable to go through hardship?" instead of describing them as "some flowers in a pot".

My whole mind went blank and I didn't know what to say, no ideas came out. I felt that my heart was going to pop out of my mouth any minute, the whole room was air-conditioned and only one thought kept flitting through my mind: It's cold, it's cold, it's freezing. When can I get out of here?

The teachers kept prompting me, giving me hints. My voice was stammering in that intense, quiet atmosphere. In fact, I can't believe it's me that's talking, it sounded like someone strange and unknown.

I think I'm going to fail oral. But, PLEASE DON'T LET THAT HAPPEN!! MIRACLES MUST APPEAR TO SALVAGE ME FROM DANGER!! AH!!!

I must have an A!! Be it A1 or A2. JUST GIVE ME A STUPID FREAKING DAMN A!!!

2006-06-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

SINGAPORE LIFE CHURCH ROX!!! I don't think I'm ever going to leave this church. After all, it's sort of like my second home there, considering the fact I've been there since I was an infant.

Anyway, today was Parents Nite, and we teens were supposed to prepare dinner for all our parents...lol...Reached church at 5 plus and saw Daniel and Ziyi already barbecuing chicken while Marissa was preparing the soup and salad. Heard from her that they went Plaza Singapura at 10 in the morning to shop for ingredients. Gosh! And I was still in bed that time. All the parents were in room 3-2 having some meeting before heading downstairs for dinner. Ha! I learned how to chop bread today! Well, in the slanted way of course. I was actually peeling parsley when Gabriel chop bread chop until very frusrated. So I decided to take over...not too bad...the bread looks the slanted, fanciful curve it should look. Child prodigy since it's my first time chopping bread that way! Appetizers was chicken vegetable soup with the bread followed by BBQ chicken cutlet as the main course. Desert was the "Oreo-Lemon Cheese Cake" Daniel made. While they were having their meal, I was asked to play the piano for entertainment...not too bad, considering I have the company of Mervyn, Matthias, Marissa and Gabriel. Mervyn and I took turns to play so I wasn't too exhausted. Uncle Mike requested for the "Da Chang Jin" theme song. Goodness! Luckily I heard the song for countless times so I just played it using my intuition for chords and melody. Then Caleb and Daniel sang a few songs...the chords were nice, since they were last-minute preparation...cool!! Both of you rock!!

The cheese cake was simply delectable...no one would believe it was home-made. Really, the base was crispy while the top part was so creamy and soft. Must really learn from Daniel...lol...

Frankly speaking, it's times like these that provides me a sense of belonging to the church. Thinking back, I've seen people coming in, people leaving. Throughout this 16-17 years, I feel that I'm still stationary. I haven't moved despite the people around me leaving and arriving. From Aunty Janet, Sheena, Aaron to Vania, Terence and Hannah. Well, maybe it's time I move on with life too...I shouldn't keep holding on to the hope that someday "someone" will return. It's time I took a step forward and embrace the new world that's in front of me...Thinking of "someone" that I'll never see again for my whole life will only cause me grief, nothing but sadness.

I'm wishing for a fantasy that will never happen. I should accept reality because I'm finally left with no choice. It's painful, but someday I know it definitely beats suffering more at the end of this whole thing.

2006-06-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Your IQ score is 120

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others. Your Intellectual Type is Precision Processor. This means you're exceptionally good at discovering quick solutions to problems, especially ones that involve math or logic. You're also resourceful and able to think on your feet. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Ha ha...checked from Wikipedia and found out my percentile range's about 91-95 percent. Felt so comforted, I mean, at least I'm not as "idiotic" as I always thought I was. For gifted people, their IQ's 130 and above. If only I could use my IQ to do well in my studies...haiz...studied Physics today and felt like dying. 24 chapters...oh God! And I'm not done with Bio and Chem and SS and A-Maths and E-Maths. Wow!!
Audition at AJ was okay today...not too bad. Met 4 Maris Stella High guys who were also there for audition. They were so friendly...kept joking and talking...2 of them were auditioning for VJ at a later time today after AJ. Good luck to them!! Now my fate lies in the teachers' hands...hopefully everything will turn up fine...

2006-06-20T00:48:00.000+08:00

Because of You
Kelly Clarkson

I will not make the same mistakes that you did I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You felt so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you

I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing!

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you

I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

2006-06-17T12:50:00.000+08:00

How I wished life was a fairytale...being the perfect person when born, meeting your "Prince Charming" and the best part, living happily ever after in a grand castle. No worries, no troubles...how nice it would be. But for me, this wish will never come true in my whole life.

Went blog hopping and saw something I didn't like in my friend's blog. I'm not gonna say what it was since this is open to everyone. All I can say is it was rather disturbing.

Sometimes I wonder why do we create blogs? What is the purpose? To see how many of your friend's links you have and who links you in return? To count the number of tags you have in your tagboard? Or simply just to record your day-to-day events in this little webpage that belongs to you?

Basically, I think my blog's rotting away, no one's tagging at my board, no one notices my blog...the only thing that's keeping it "alive" is my constant, continuous, unceasing effort to post my entries here. I don't know why, but when I saw all my friend's blog...most of them have at least 100 messages in their board. What about me? Lol...not even 50. Maybe my close friends are busy...and most of them don't have a blog. Oh well...anyway I'm going to close this blog soon...gosh, and it's not even 1 year old!!

2006-06-16T16:27:00.000+08:00

Haiz...only 10 days left to common tests and 5 days to my audition at AJ. What am I going to do?? I'm freaking out because I haven't touched Chemistry and Physics one bit. And I'm required to remember 10 Social Studies chapters that are nothing but facts. At least History has a storyline in it but SS? There's not even a storyline there...what the hell! Even Biology is better than that as I can, well, study about my own body. Lol...Physics die liao!! It's not that I don't know all the formulas...it's that I don't know how to apply them!! Chemistry...salts, acids and bases...my weakest chapters... it's totally congratulations to me. The reason why I never mentioned English until now is because I already anticipated the results even before I take the stupid common test. Because given my stringent teacher, the only result I'll get is a FAIL on my paper. It'll truly be a miracle if I ever pass...A-Maths and E-Maths are "cope-able" to me for the current moment. Luckily for now, I have no Chinese to worry about except my O-Level result.
There are many a time that I would look out of my balcony at the blackened sky, watching those stars dancing happily away and I would wonder how nice it would be if I were one of them. No worries...no troubles...so wonderful...but for now, my "death day" is approaching...lol.

2006-06-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

Today's such a busy day...well, to me it is. Mummy, Brian and I went to Toa Payoh's BK for breakfast, then took 88 to school to get my Social Studies textbook and my CCA Certificate aka CCA Records. Headed to General Office to ask if the classroom was locked and they, after questioning me about why I left it in class, then told me they didn't know. So I climbed up the stairs to my classroom, only to find that both doors were locked! Didn't know where to find Aunty but I reckoned she would be in the toilet. True to my suspicions, she was really in the female washroom. Asked her for the key and then went to get my Sec 4 book.

Then my next destination would be the HOD room cos I need to find Mr Ling for CCA Records. Kai Hui, Michelle and Roy were already in there. Not too bad, at least I wouldn't be too lonely and afraid...lol...I was shocked to learn that all my achievements had to be from memory. Gosh! I forgot all the things I did in when I was Sec 1...so following the guidelines, I somehow or rather managed to tell Mr Ling all my achievements during the 4-year-period in band. Haiz...I think my chances of entering would be rather low, cos unlike the other 3 of them, I don't have any leadership postions...and usually priorties always go to them...die liao...

We took 851 down to Ang Mo Kio Community library next to renew 2 of my books and return 2. So lucky...I happened to find a Charmed book by chance...and it's somewhat one of the later editions too...

We ordered Student Meals at Jack's Place for lunch...and then rode a direct bus home.

After blogging...I think I must get down to my books...my Physics cannot make it liao!! I even forgot all my formulas and how to apply them. And I'm supposed to study the whole book for my Common Test...this time round is really good luck to me...lol...

2006-06-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

I guess today's blog's gonna be a rather long one...please bear with me as I reminsced the events that happened the past few days...

Band Camp

Thursday

Arrived in school at 12:30pm and found the flutes practising their ensemble piece Canon in D...well...in terms of rhythms and notes, it's rather ok. The most important thing is to blend in the music because each player enters at a different time...lol...being a Sec 4, I should say other than O Levels, is quite enjoyable. No need to stay overnight in hot, stuffy classrooms instead of the usual band room I had in the past 3 years, better still, we get to settle our own meals instead of eating those packed meals. Had practice till 6+ and then proceeded home. Didn't stay for games.

Friday

Reported at 10:30am after having breakfast at MacDonalds. Annerson came today to help tutor us and to shape us up for our ensemble performance tonight. Well, actually it was "theirs"...but because the tutor said that having 5 people distributed among 3 parts was rather unbalanced, I then joined in to sort of..."balance" it...What disturbs me is that I still feel nervous even though I should be unfazed about it since I was just there as a "background supporter". After our ensemble, Mr Tan described it as "the worst performance ever"...lol...this is something I should question...I mean, we can't be that bad...he then told Cladys "I had lost my trust in you." Whoa! That left me flabbergasted...despite Cladys remaining calm, I know her heart must have shattered to pieces. I mean, if I were her, I would have broken down into sobs...Mr Tan should take note that we were only given 2 days and not 2 months to work on our pieces...given the juniors' calibre and capabilities, it was already a job rather well done. He shouldn't have condemned them to a state as the worst piece played in AMKSS band history. I should have known things would turn out to be this way. It's not that I didn't express my concerns about this piece. That it was too long, thus causing the players to lost count in the middle part since they come in at different places. Till now, I still preferred "Whistle While You Work" or "Chim Chim Cher-Ee". At least they were shorter...oh well, what's done cannot be undone. I didn't stay for long...went home immediately after the performance. Watched Spirited Away...a touching story.

Saturday

Woke up at 6:30am. And the sun wasn't even up yet...it shouldn't even be said as the "crack of dawn". Daddy fetched me to school at 7am. Prepared for our Sec 4s & 5s recollection concert and proceed down to the parade square to rehearse our Passing Out Parade. It was fine till afternoon when the sun was right above our heads. Despite the scorching sun, we relentlessly continued our rehearsals. Heard from Cheng Song that the previous night, the 3 leaders were given 100 pushups as punishment for their inefficieny and lack of initiative to lead the band. But it wasn't their fault. They (Yunxi, Winston and James) have just assumed their positions and still have lots to learn. We can't expect them to "soar" when they can't even "walk". I know time is of the essence since we'll be stepping down but this is also what they need. The poor Sec 3s too. And I thought waking up so early was pure torture. I soon changed my mind when I heard that they were called at 7am and given only 15 minutes to wash up and gather at the parade square. From there, they were made to run 2 rounds around the school compound. So we, as gruaduating students, were requested to show our concerns to them to help boost their morale. Cladys said she had an intuition that we would win the Best Section Award when we were on the way to the wash room to dress up. After all, she deduced that last night Mr Tan spent more effort on us in shaping up our playing. During rehearsal, he even spent slightly more time in correcting our marching...especially mine. I think I'm the worst. I don't even know which leg to start with. Pick out any Sec 1 or 2 and I can assure you 100% they'll do much better than me. So embarrassing to be called a Sec 4...lol...

True to her words, we were really called for the Best Section. I was so shocked I was at a loss what to do. I immediately placed my flute down and lined up together with the other juniors. From there, I was totally a messed...kekenang also do wrongly...even took the prize away until Cheng Song called me...so sia suay. After parade, we headed up to the hall for our concert. Played through till the last note...and then all of us had the usual "crying parade" as always, started by the emotional Cladys. I, influenced by her, then continued. Even Xue Yi also cried...so ironic! It's like, suddenly, in a flash, everything's over. Faster than I expected. Before that, I awaited for this day for so long and when it finally arrived, I wished time would hasten its speed, so reluctant to let go. I guess this is just me...

So now, I just want to thank all of my juniors in the flute section and wish them all the best in all that they do.

Cladys: Thank you so much for having faith in me during the concert...when I said I would help you in the last page of the 3rd movement of Postcard since we didn't couldn't find the score at the last minute...lol...don't ever do that again...ha ha...better to arrange scores in the file than to have it flying all around during the actual nerve-recking performance...don't fret if you come across new pieces. Ask those whose music is good to teach you the rhythms...and lastly, strive for the best as the SL. You can do it!

PS: And I still haven't taught you El Camino Real...lol...

Jaslyn: Thank you for being there through these years...must comfort Cladys if she's down or feeling depressed, thinking she's incapable of leading the section...especially when SYF is drawing near and the pressure is too great for her to handle it along.

Xue Yi: Thank you for all your lame jokes...they really cheer me up when I'm not feeling happy...and I'm grateful to you for sharing my laughter...ha ha... "Da Pao Zai Ding" (Canon in D)...

Joycelin and Marcus: Thanks for being there in the section...providing me a sense of belonging. Especially Marcus...as lame as Xue Yi...ha ha...being lame is not a liability, it's an asset...at least it is to me...

Also, to Jessica, an "ex-flute" member...thank you for being a friend and confiding in me...please don't ever entertain the thought of quitting. You're already a Sec 3...before you realize it, you'll be having your own graduating concert just like me. No matter how high the pressure is, especially next year during SYF...don't ever give up...press on...look to your section or close friends for comfort. If possible, I'll try to come back, I assure you...

Last but not least...

Mr Tan: Thanks for all the guidance and direction you've gave me for the past 4 years.

To the section as a whole, must strive for Best Section Award again next year...

To the band, must go for Gold With Honours during SYF...all of you have that potential...unleash it and you can do it!!

2006-06-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

Life's a kaleidoscope of events...the passing of time is really beyond my control, beyond my grasps...in the blink of an eye, it's finally the June holidays...and I'm having an audition tomorrow at Temasek. Haiz...hope I'll get accepted...my greatest fear is the no JC will want me...given my crap results (ugh!). Please don't let that come true...I'm really nervous...didn't practise my flute at all, lol...
Finished Chinese O Levels 7 days ago, on Monday...screwed it up...haiz. Nothing else to add.
Went balloon hat festival yesterday. Had such a fun time there, other than messing up the dance steps...whatever! Was so afraid my balloon hat would burst...cos mine was a dark colour and thus, is a good absorber of heat. Besides, my hat did burst last year and I had a splitting headache after that...apparently some people just didn't understand my phobia and made a hell of noise out of it...worst still, it's a junior who's being so disrepectful to a senior...I certainly hope the person does a self-analysis of his/her own doings. Other than that, I should say it was rather fun...despite the long walk I had to do...
Next week's band camp, which is going to conclude with the POP (Passing Out Parade) ceremony. Then I'm left with about 2 weeks to mug for my common tests. Following that would be the Prelimary Examinations...and after that, it's finally the all-awaited O Levels again!! Time really flies...4 years of being a student in AMKSS and AMKSS band is finally coming to an end...
Yesterday's in the past, today is in the present and tomrorow is in the future...once a day passes, it'll never return again. So peeps, let's live each day to the fullest and without regrets!!

2006-05-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

3 days to O Levels Chinese...I'm totally freaking out...and what are the people around me telling me? I have answers like "Relax...you'll do fine", "Aiyah...I took the paper last year...it's easier in Os compared to school" and even the teacher saying "Os are slightly easier than school papers"...yup...I should relax...but despite finishing about 20 exercise...yes...20...I'm still not feeling fine!!! I think I'll lose inspiration for Paper 1 and I'll have a mental block in Paper 2. And what will I see in my results slip? An F9...my goodness...I don't know what I'm doing now...let's just leave everything to God...please help me God!!

Going to finish watching Da Chang Jin...oh my goodness!! Ji Jin Hee rox!! So gentlemanly...so handsome...haiz...I didn't want Lady Cui to die...I mean, even though she's very bad to Lady Han and all, the part where she let go of the tree branch was so touching...she has a nice name too..."Cheng Qin" if I'm not wrong...haiz...and 3 of them- Lady Han, Lady Cui as well as Chang Jin's mother Pu Mingyi were good friends during their childhood times...why did things have to end up that way? Anyway in the end Chang Jin and Ming Zheng Hao were together and that's what counts...lol...

PTC (Parent-Teacher Conference) tomorrow at 4:15pm...wonder what will Mrs Veda say...I must have done very badly...need improvements in Humans and English...haiz...it's always the same things...but I'm glad I don't have to see VP or P...think I will get a rapping from them...ha ha...

2006-05-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

I must not give up, I must not give up, I must persevere...I must, I must and I will!! Even though I've failed my Chemistry, A-Maths, Chinese, and I know I'm going to fail English as well, I must learn how to get up when I've fallen...only I can help myself...yes...I know I can...well...hopefully I can...

It's 13 days to Chinese O Level...and I feel so empty in my brain...it's like I don't know anything at all...I haven't even started on my assesment book...just tell me what am I gonna do? "Mopeng" Alan is still opening his mouth big and wide...even made fun of moi's friend today...saying her shoe got fertilizer smell and that she was the cause of it...why can't he just look at his stupid face in the mirror and do some self-reflection?? Making her upset...=( Nothing good ever comes out of his stupid mouth...I won't be surprised if he ever offends people when he grows up...maybe they'll put him in jail for use of vulgarities or things like...lol...then I'll get the last laugh...=) No wonder he sits alone during lesson...away from the guys...oh well...serves him right...
Feeling so tired...wanted to do Chinese but ended up blogging...think I'm gonna do tonight but I know will sleep before I even start flipping the page open...lol...2006 just sux the hell out of me!!

PS: But actually looking back at what he said...I shouldn't really get heart attack or anything...in fact, getting Oscars are a big honour...it means they recognize the profession you're in...like Nicole Kidman and Marilyn Monroe...if only I could really win an Oscar one day...lol...back to earth...what I'm saying is...he's just one of the insignificant ones in my life...even if I was really in pain, he wouldn't understand, in fact, nobody would unless they suffer it themselves...so I couldn't really care whether he talks bad about me or anything...because I have many friends around me that are worth more of my attention than "small people" like him...who only knows how to gossip...so...yup...after this year, I won't have to see his face anymore...Ciao!!

2006-05-10T17:23:00.000+08:00

Lesson learnt today: Never ever get hit by a ball, it's just disasterous!!

I never knew how bad it could be until I experienced it myself...when one of the guys kicked it and woosh! The ball came flying and hit right smack in the middle of my forehead. Well, the person did come to apologize profusely...but the pain was too excruciating for me to care about anything else. So I skipped PE and lied down on the table until Biology. At first I thought I was sleeping...then it's like I was going deeper and deeper and when Rosemary and Wan Joo tried to call me, shake me, I just couldn't respond...I heard them...but I couldn't get up or move my muscles...then both of them got scared and they called Mrs Veda, who was teaching at that time. She came and lifted up my head, it was then I was semi concious and was able to answer her by nodding my head I was ok.

But some people like Alan are just not willing to shut their mouths, as usual, saying "She can go Oscar Awards." Meaning I'm a "very good actress". I heard that myself...and I was like...what good is there to act in this kind of ridiculous thing...you try getting hit by a ball that's flying like 100km/h yourself "Mopeng" bastard!! And some people also added in that my life is hard, will not so easily die one...yup...one day if I die then I'll find you lah...bitch! This stupid couple should really be together...they make up the world's most talkative couple...one guy and a girl...always badmouthing people...I just don't understand why...and guess who started off the soccer game...it's that stupid annoying piece of turb!! Anyway...he got his deserts by getting 0 marks for his Bio essay...serve him right for saying I'm putting on an act when I'm really in pain...

Anyway...I got back my Bio test marks today...ha ha!! So happy...got 28/30. Actually got 27 one...but then teacher mark wrongly...so add one more mark...mark range in our class was from 23-30...so cool!! Just let God deal with this kind of people...for I really believe in retribution...I believe that he will get his deserts...whatever he deserved...Mopeng!!

2006-05-09T18:08:00.000+08:00

These are 2 of the class photos taken after our drama competition...the fun shot and the formal shot...lol...

2006-05-09T17:44:00.000+08:00

Chocolates, chocolates and chocolates...well I must say I've tasted the best of the best today...even better than Cadbury I have to admit. It's like...the top is covered with chocolate powder...and the moment you put it in, it totally melts in your mouth. Smooth cold creamy chocolate...it's even more delicious than real ice cream. I've got the brand already...it's Royce, which can only be found in Takashimaya and Suntec City, so said by Wan Joo...I think it's a Japanese brand...for all the words seem Jap to me...I'm gonna gorge myself in that chocolate!!! You see if I don't!!

Today's Chem test just sux! Teacher told us to study on Electrolysis and in the end come out Redox Reactions as well...I was like...what on earth!! I don't even know how to do!! Don't know how to give Elaine answers...cos all not from ten-year-series...lol...I'll be so freaking happy if I can at least score an A2...ha ha!!

2006-05-08T17:51:00.000+08:00

My grades are falling and they suck like nobody's business...even the teacher comes telling me so! Arrgh!! I hate Maths!!!
Today is a rather special day...because it is the death anniversary of Teresa Teng, who died on this very same day 11 years ago. Heard she died of an asthma attack during a trip to Thailand...what a waste...at the young age of 42. She was so talented, possessing a sweet voice that charmed millions of fans all over Asia, making her one of the most famous singers in Taipei, Taiwan and China...actually her songs also not too bad...just that everyone is chasing pop singers nowaday, which I feel actually do not have talent. They just go upstage and sing and they get famous. So many popularity contests that audiences have to vote to prevent their elimation...now the latest pop group...anyhow sing also get famous...not like those old time singers. When they sing, it's really because they got the "X'" factor, that's why their famous. No wonder after so many years, people still do remember her and often visit her grave. You go Teresa!! =)

2006-05-05T18:33:00.000+08:00

Your signature is Pink Chiffon!

There's nothing saccharine about you- your sweetness is one hundred percent natural! A gentle, thoughtful romantic like you must be paired with a color that's soft and warm- but still has a subtle sophisticated sheen. That's why Pink Chiffon is the perfect color for you! You're probably known for making the most of every situation and trying to see the best in people. But while you may be cheerful and innocent at times, you're nobody's fool. You may see the world through rose-colored glasses, but you can still see, after all.

While you make wise insights time after time, it's probably your good nature and perpetual optimism that are what you're known for and what make you a joy to be around. Even those who sometimes make fun of your Pollyanna- like proclamations will turn to you when they need a friend and some cheering up. So keep pink, Chiffon. With you around, the world's a better place!

2006-05-05T17:43:00.000+08:00

You're green, the color of growth and vigor. Good-hearted and giving, you have a knack for finding and bringing out the best in people. Green is the most down-to-earth color in the spectrum- reliable and trustworthy. People know they can count on you to be around in times of need, since your concern for people is genuine and sincere. You take pride in being a good friend. For you, success is measured in terms of personal achievement and growth, not by status or position. Rare as emeralds, greens are wonderful, natural people. It truly is your color!

2006-04-17T21:47:00.000+08:00

Ran 2.4km today
It just sux...nothing more to say
But at least the worst nightmare was finally over
First 2 rounds were okay...but I just didn't understand some things
How could I have took 7 minutes to run the 3rd round?
More over, my watch was sychronized to teacher's timing
And I was running constantly, well, except a few stops
So anyway, Feli and I found out we were left with 3 minutes to pass
We "choing" all the way for last round
Despite the stich I had on my right side
The pain was so damn excruciating
Lol...next lesson free games liao
Since both of us completed 5 items and passed 2.4!!!
Wish you there to comfort me, to motivate me and to inspire me
Now suffering from body aches...think it'll be even worse next morning
Anyway it's just a short journal of today...so tired, wanna sleep liao...
Somemore tomorrow got English test...cannot afford to flunk
Later fail need to go see Level Head...please God!
Safe me the trouble...Ciao!!

2006-03-29T19:43:00.001+08:00

Oh my gosh! Da Chang Jin rox, rox, ROX!!!! So amazed by the way they cook...and this Chang Jin is like child prodigy. She's able to tell all the seasonings used when she just ate the mushroom. Well, actually, it was Jin Ying who said that, but Chang Jin was able to tell that they used persimmon instead of sugar. I was like...wa lao! Like that also can tell. These peoples' sense of taste is so acute. Wonder what they're taste buds are made of...Chang Jin is so pretty!! Ah!!! And she used cabbage as dumpling wraps when she realized she lost her share of flour provided for her. I usually watch in Korean...cos I think if you listen in Chinese, it's not very nice. In their native language better...can hear they're real voices.

As I watched this series, I was wondering: Why can't our own country, Singapore, produce shows such as these?. You know, this is the difference between Hong Kong, Korean and Singapore shows. No offence people, but I personally feel that Singapore always produces shows that are the same. Whereas Hong Kong produces shows in the "don't-know-what" dynasty, you know, different eras. From post modern to modern, and also on vampires, super natural to police cops. Even Korean too...well..Korean does produce shows on love. Take for example, the lastest Stairway to Heaven, or even Winter Sonata. But at least theirs is like so touching that it can make you cry. No doubt this present show Da Chang Jin is also based on love again, but at least they included the extra essence, food! Like how charcoal is able to absorb the impurities of soy sauce, making it taste sweet and pure. How, different types of herbs treat what kinds of illnesses. And not always just solely on love, all the practical stuff. Woo...I feel like I'm doing an essay...seriously, I must stress this again, THIS IS NO OFFENCE TO ALL THE PEOPLE OUT THERE. It's just based on my opinion only that we should try to produce shows that are interesting, capturing audiences' attention and make them feel in awe. Please, I do not want the cops coming to my house to arrest me just because I made such a comment like that...lol...It's not as if I'm being racist or something. But anyway...yup...I guess that's about it. And one more thing, PLEASE WATCH DA CHANG JIN!!! It's extremely nice...ha ha!! Ciao!! =)

2006-03-20T19:01:00.000+08:00

Come What May

Ewan McGregor, Nicole Kidman

Never knew I could feel like this

Like I've never seen the sky before

I want to vanish inside your kiss

Every day I'm loving you more and more

Listen to my heart, can you hear it sing

Telling me to give you everything

Seasons may change, winter to spring

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace

Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste

It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high

No river too wide

Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side

Storm clouds may gather

And stars may collide

But I love you until the end of time

Come what may

Come what may I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may, come what may

I will love you, I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place

Come what may

I will love you until my dying day

2006-02-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

Die liao!!! Help me!!! Physics test is the day after tomorrow and yet I don't even understand the basics...oh my gosh!! Wa lao!! Tried out the Thailand folksongs today...no offence but to me, the songs seem a bit "guai". It's like the more I play the more I don't understand what I'm playing...cool huh...finally finished running 2.4km. I suffered from body aches last Wednesday after running. It was killing me...

Got the Phantom of the Opera music book...the love of my life...thanks Yu Qing! And not forgetting the people whom I've asked and asked and asked. God, they must have thought I was such an "annoying pest"...but I mean, if you really want something, you'll go all the way for it no matter what. And thank you so much God!! For answering my prayers that I've prayed for the past few days...
Haiz...gotta stop here...Daddy's calling me to go through physics with me...welcome to my life!!

2006-02-26T18:09:00.000+08:00

Received some kind of "inspiration talk" from Cheng Song on Friday. He made most of us cry...I guess the band is really falling apart and it's rather sad. Seriously, I feel that this batch should try to bond more. Then he made all the graduating pupils stand in the middle of the circle that our juniors made. It was then I started reminiscing on the times when I first stepped into this group to the time that I'm here now, leaving soon. I've watched the Sec 2s and 3s blowed their first note, their first piece, their first concert to the time they're teaching their very own juniors. I looked around me, seeing Jaslyn, Cladys crying made me wanna cry too. And guess what, I did cry. Lol...the influence was too great. The 19th March concert at the Esplanade will be our very last performance...and then we will step down. Well, at least my "script" was filled many colours. Bright colours, dull colours...marking the happy and sad times I've had. But at least I've managed to persevere on till today. Even though we did not have any practice that day, I dare say that we still learn a very important lesson, more valuable and precious than musical knowledge. And that is the lesson of unity and bonding.

2006-02-23T22:01:00.000+08:00

Just a quick and short post...asked Ms Deepa quite a number of questions today and I felt that I was slightly "enlightened"...think I rather ready for tomorrow's test...accept Biology...haiz...have trouble memorising the content...well...will try again tonight. I mean, I have to complete it by hook or by crook. Lol...

2006-02-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

Just finished studying Chem...it sux. Out of 5 questions only 3 correct. I was like "what the hell?". Down with flu today...think I'm gonna be sick. Wish I could pon school, but unfortunately I can't. Some more there's P.E. tomorrow...hope the teacher doesn't make us run our 2.4.km. A-Maths test this Friday: Permutation and Combination...confirm fail. I don't even know how to apply the formulas. My dad, who's forte is in Maths, is also having trouble with it. If he can't do it, I don't see why I can. Good luck to me...

2006-02-17T22:59:00.000+08:00

Well...this is my second blog...my previous blog was spoiled. Ironically, it seemed to link me to another person's blog whenever I clicked on the screen. Nevertheless, I hope this blog will not fail me...Lol...anyway...credits to the creator of this blog and lastly, to all those who will pop by and make this blog a merry and lively place.